Recap--Getting Ready

I think I'm finally ready to talk about it a little. We still don't have a lot of pictures to share. This is a photo of one of the centerpieces that I sent to the caterer a couple months ago to give her an idea of the "feel" of the event. (Clicking on the pic will take you to a larger image on our flickr page.)

Everyone says the day was a whirlwind, don't they? I didn't really feel that way until the event was actually starting. We both woke up early to put the finishing touches on our vows. Then we showered, had cereal, regular low-key morning things. At noon I picked up my mom at the hotel, then we made the very last trip to Target before picking up the cake. Back home with the cake, we found we had absolutely no room in the refrigerator for it, so we cranked the AC to about 50 degrees and left the cake on the kitchen counter. Still nothing to worry about yet.

My mom steamed our clothes, then went back to the hotel to get herself ready. My MOH arrived to help me with hair and makeup, and my aunt, uncle, and cousin arrived to let us load some stuff into their car. My uncle filmed the wedding for us and he got the whole hair and makeup part. I made sure to wear a button-front shirt during hair and makeup so it was easy to change into the dress later without ruining everything by lifting a shirt over my head.

Finally, all that was left to do was finish loading up the car and drive over to the Brazilian Room. That's when I started feeling nauseaus. Despite checking everything in our car, everything in my aunt and uncle's car, and everything in the two cars of friends, who were all arriving early with us, I had a nagging feeling something was forgotten. And that's a common feeling for me, because we usually do forget something whenever we leave the house for something important.

We arrived at the Brazilian Room right on schedule. Some friends were already there. They had brought the stereo equipment and the bar drinks and were getting all that stuff set up. We unloaded our car and I put out the centerpieces and Mike put out the napkins and favors. (I had a specific way I wanted them, even though it appeared random, so the caterer let me do that instead of her workers. They had plenty to do, though.)

Then it was time to give up my control and let the professional party people and the friends and family members who arrived early to help us to do their work. And time for me to put my dress on! A bunch of people (my mom, my young cousin, my uncle filming, the photographer) followed me into the dressing room, but I really had to use the bathroom that was connected to it, so I asked the entourage to back off and please give me a minute alone. As I was in the bathroom I heard Mike's voice in the hall: "I forgot my shirt!"

Is it time to worry yet?

The First Pic

Via a friend's phone, emailed to us last night:


Details to follow. We are tired, but happy.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Yesterday was Stephanie and Mike's 'Big Day'. YEAH!!!

Did Stephanie make it through the day without going all Bridezilla on someone's ass? Time will only tell. We wait with baited breath and MUCH CONGRATULATIONS!!! Wish we could have been there to taste the dark chocolate cake and see the beautfiul napkins and dress all done by hand. Truly an amazing feat!

Send Steph and Mike a congrats today and wish them well!





*** That leaves us with only Ashley and her bridal journey. We have an open spot! Write to us and tell Stephanie and I why you would make a great 'Flaming Tulle' Featured bride.***

tomorrow!

In a few minutes we'll be heading out to farmers' market to buy flowers for tomorrow and snacks for this afternoon's open house at our place.

Yesterday had Mike and me escaping the family to spend a few minute alone... shopping at Macy's for a wrap for me, then meeting up with our officiant friend for coffee and pants-renting. He unpacked his tux and the pants are missing. So we found a place that rents tuxes, but they need a week in advance. Luckily someone had just returned a tux in his size, and the woman in charge of rentals let him just take the pants, with nothing more than a promise to return them on Tuesday. We then went to Mike's cousin's house to pick up the wedding wine and on to the airport to pick up my grandmother.

Last night was girls' night out. We were all a little tired, so a low-key evening of drinking wine and eating chocolatey desserts was just perfect.

Time to go buy my flowers!

2 Days

I was bored yesterday afternoon. I had nothing to do. My mom was working on my dress. Mike was getting his mom from the airport. I puttered around the house. By the time Mike came home, we had about 20 minutes to get changed and catch the train to the city for our dinner with parents, brothers, and officiant. It was a really good dinner. But I was up late and I'm too tired now to post too much about it.

One thing I did yesterday afternoon was laugh over the Exclusively Weddings catalog that arrived in the mail. It's too late for me, but you can order custom soaps, creepy mother-daughter keepsake figurines, and personalized photos of the beach:


Okay, I kinda get that this might be a cool thing to do if you're at the beach taking photos yourselves. But paying someone else to go to the beach, write your name, and then take the picture... Something doesn't feel right. It doesn't seem like unique artwork to me. It seems like one more piece of customized crap. (Which really isn't fair to the beach. That's why it erases your name so quickly.)

3 Days

What day is today? Friday? It's hard to keep track of time when you're not at work. (I hesitate to say "when you're on vacation" because I haven't spent enough time relaxing for this to be a real vacation.)

Yesterday my mom came over and we did a dress fitting. She just has to do some minor adjustments. She worked on it yesterday afternoon and will work on it again this afternoon.

I finished the music playlists yesterday.

Today I have some errands to run. There's another trip to Target in my future and I have to bring more guest bags to the hotel.

Tonight we're going out to eat with our parents, brothers, and friend who's the officiant. We're not calling it the rehearsal dinner, since we're not having a rehearsal and one member of the bridal party is missing--my maid of honor. (She gets into town tomorrow.) But if the people at the restaurant want to give us complimentary champagne or something because it looks like a rehearsal dinner, we'll graciously accept it.

Trying to drink water, eat vegetables, and take naps in my down time. And "Just say no" to the majority of alcoholic drinks that are tempting me. I don't have time this weekend to be hungover. I want to be a happy, healthy bride on Monday.

4 Days

Yesterday was a busy one. Tuesday night I worked on napkins and just couldn't finish them, but did so as soon as I woke up yesterday morning. Napkins are all done.

I dropped off some guest bags at the hotel. It has a small office and the manager asked that I bring them by a day or two at a time. No problem really, since it's close to my house and my parents are there so I have other reasons to stop by.

I went to Whole Foods. We want to have lots of fruits and vegetables on hand for snacking since we'll be eating dinner at restaurants a lot over the next few days. We want to stay healthy.

I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned the apartment.

Then my parents showed up for dinner, and the wedding festivities have officially begun!

Today's big event: Dress fitting with my mom! (She needs to hem it.)

6 Days

I'm looking forward to a week from today, when we won't be worrying about this party anymore.

Yesterday I worked on guest bags. I have to finish them today, since guests start checking into the hotel tomorrow.

Yesterday Mike confirmed with his friends who will arrive early with the beverages for the bar. He also brought home the sound system we're borrowing from another friend so we can make sure we know how to set it up.

Last night we finalized the ceremony, except for writing our vows. We're suffering from a little bit of writer's block. I found this quote, "I cannot woo in festival terms," from Much Ado About Nothing, that sums up my problem. It's easy to feel all the feelings, but hard to write them down and say them in front of everybody.

Today is my last day of work for a week! Besides working, I have to finish the guest bags, do a few more napkins, and wash the bathroom and kitchen floors. Parents start arriving tomorrow, and who knows, after traveling 3,000 miles they may want to pop-in to their kids' apartment for a visit.

7 Days

I woke up around 2 a.m. this morning worrying about the logistics of wedding day. I have to get over it. Some things, like traffic, I can't control. Other things, like the photos taking longer than scheduled and blowing the whole timeline, are the kinds of things the caterer deals with on a regular basis and will handle it. We'll have vows, food, drink, and cake, no matter what.

Yesterday afternoon Mike cleaned the porch and I cleaned in the living room, including tackling the bookcases. As long as no one goes into our uber-messy bedroom, we can allow family to pop in and see that we are competent adults living in a nice apartment.

Today we need to confirm with a few people who will be helping us out on game day. The to-do list is getting shorter.

8 Days

One week from tomorrow! Wait, does that make today 9 days? Have I been miscounting? It really doesn't matter too much, because I'm looking at the calendar every day, watching the date creep closer and closer.

Yesterday afternoon, after my post, I worked on some napkins. 47 down, 11 to go. I'm working with 2 yards of fabric at a time, which makes 9 napkins. It takes over an hour to make those 9 napkins and it gets tedious ironing and sewing all those edges. But I'm close to the finish line.

This morning I went to farmers' market and my flower guy assured me the'll have plenty of purple dahlias next week. (At $5 a bunch, my bouquet will cost $10 to $15, depending on how many I decide to use. You can't beat that. And we're buying some for decorating the buffet tables and to give all the little girls their own mini-bouquets. 'Cause little girls like that kind of thing.)

We also went to Home Depot and bought two tall bougainvilla vines to serve as a divider for the ceremony area.

For the rest of the day: Mike will clean the porch so there's a place for the bougainvilla vines to live for the next week. I will organize and dust the book cases in the living room to make them "company ready." They really are a mess.

(Dahlias photo from Lynn Slight at WebDahlias.)

9 Days

Not much happened yesterday in regards to the to-do list. All I did was get my hair trimmed and write names on the out-of-town guest bags. Despite hardly getting any sleep last night (was it the heat? the drunken midnight phone call from our friend who's also the officiant? the cats? PMS? hallucinagenic cheese enchiladas? I don't know. I just know I didn't sleep at all.), I've gotten a lot accomplished today.

I colored my hair as soon as the first cup of coffee kicked in.

With the help of one of my trusty assistants I finished the last 10 favors:



While I was finishing the placecards that same trusty assistant sat on the black ink pad. I managed to save them all, but Grendel will have to live with a stained butt for a while. So, yeah, placecards are finished and Mike made the table numbers today. Everyone will have a place to sit! (They won't all have napkins yet. Still working on those.)

10 Days

I'll admit, not much happened yesterday. Mike was out of town for a few days and when he got home yesterday afternoon I decided I was tired of wedding crafts. We finalized the seating assignments and I showed him the insect pictures I printed out to use as table numbers.

I went to Michaels yesterday and found the ribbon and gift bags I need.

It's going to be a long, busy weekend. (And hot! It topped 100 yesterday and will do the same today. Even with the AC on, the heat somehow drains our energy and motivation.)

Trash Your Dress

My first reaction was the conventional wisdom horrified one. But by the time I finished reading the brief article Is This Any Way to Treat a Vera Wang I was thinking "Why not?" It seems like a perfectly fine thing to do. Sort of like a deconstruction photo-art project.

We kill ouselves trying to find the perfect dress and the perfect fit and ignore that not-so-perfect absurdly high price tag (in many cases, not everyone obviously). Then we wear the dress for one day. For the rest of the dress's life it sits in a box in a closet. Maybe it gets pulled out a couple times to show children and grandchildren. But just because that's what women have been doing for generations doesn't mean that's what we have to do now. Part of me thinks I'd rather have some beautiful photographs than lug one more box around for the rest of my life.

I don't want to completely ruin my dress (and my mom breathes a sigh of relief, I'm sure). But I wouldn't be adverse to a pose that might get the dress dirty. Like, we're having some pictures taken at a redwood grove in the park where the wedding is. The forest floor is covered with this beautiful soft green leafy groundcover. It would be neat to have pictures of my laying down with the leaves covering me. (Of course we'd probably have to go back another day to get those done. I wouldn't want to dirty the dress before the wedding, and it will be dark outside once it's over.)

Check out the Trash the Dress gallery for more pics. (The top pic is from there.)

11 Days

Today, for the first time, I noticed that it looks like a wedding is invading the house. The spare room has a huge pile of boxes containing guest books, Polaroid cameras and film, paper plates and napkins, bags of ribbon, and cases of beer and wine. In one corner of the living room cases of soda are stacked up. The dining room table is covered with the fabric for making the rest of the napkins and various bags and boxes that we're saving for transporting some of this stuff to the venue. Tucked into the bookcase is a shoebox full of favors. Eight dried flower centerpieces are stowed on every high shelf (as the cats look up at them longingly).

Yesterday I hit Target and The Container Store. I got some makeup, binder clips (for the out of town guest info packets), and a garment bag for my dress. I also skulked around town pilfering 20 of the free Walnut Creek Magazines from various establishments so I can mark our house on the map in the back and include them with the info packets.

My work at home was somewhat sporadic. I cleaned out enough room in the closet for my giant dress-filled garment bag. I ironed and folded some more napkins. I worked on guest info packets.

Also yesterday my Arbonne makeup arrived from Vicky! My arsenal is complete now.

Today I need to go to Michaels to buy more ribbon.

The Sun!

I've been very careful the last few weeks to keep my arms and face protected from the sun. My arms because my dress is sleeveless and I don't want have short-sleeve lines. I've been wearing either long sleeves or tank tops with lots of sunblock. My face so that it doesn't get burned and stays in nice, young-looking condition. I'm generally pretty sun-savvy so this hasn't been a big adjustment in my routine.

But today I noticed my feet! The tan line around my flip flops is visable around the straps of my wedding sandals! I'm telling myself it's not that noticeable and my feet will mostly be covered by the long dress. But it still bugs me.

Countdown to the Wedding -- 12 days

It's the Final Countdown! (Only click that link if you want to hear the song... Do you think we could walk down the aisle to that?) Parents start arriving one week from today and the wedding is in 11 days. And we have a lot to do.

My dress arrived on Monday, so that was one major stress-maker I could cross off my list. Now it's lots of little, needling details that are requiring multiple trips to Target and Michaels. (Do we have enough plastic cups? Do we have enough ribbon for the centerpieces? etc.)

Over the next week we have to make 10 more favors and finish folding napkins (actually, I have to sew a handful of those napkins before they can be folded). We did a favor-making marathon over the weekend while watching Four Weddings and a Funeral (Mike finds that film mildly amusing!), but I miscounted so we are still short by 10. Then I decided I didn't like the way some of the napkins were folded so I'm in the process of re-ironing and refolding them.

We also have to clean the house. Because we're having people over for a party. Plus we live close to the hotel where everyone's staying so we expect some pop-ins.

Things to do by Friday:
Finish sewing those napkins and get at least half of them folded.
Make those last 10 favors.
Get my hair trimmed and colored.

Things to do over the weekend:
House-cleaning
Write the vows
Finalize music playlists

To do Monday through Wednesday:
Do final counts of everything and take care of those last trips to Target. We want to try and relax with our friends and family members once they get here. (Right.)

Thursday:
Maybe sneak in a day of sight-seeing with parents?

Friday:
Rehearsal dinner with our parents and brothers

Saturday:
Girls night out!
I don't think Mike has anything planned yet.

Sunday:
Open House at our place

Monday:
The Wedding!

I'm going to strive for daily updates here, even the minutea, in hopes that others will learn they shouldn't wait until the last minute for so much stuff, like we have.

Featured Bride Ashley New News!

Yes, we here at Flaming Tulle suck. We are deliquent little bloggers both gearing up for weddings, summer, and well, working. We here at Flaming Tulle deeply apologize for boring you are readers (really? we have readers?) with our lack of content.

And now Ashley! More news on the Ashley front since we last talked when she found her reception spot.

Vicky- So what's new? Any new vendors under contract? You know you have 10 months left!

Ashley- We chose Greenwood Photography. So that's off the list.

Vicky- Great! Tell me more about them and the whole choosing process.

Ashley- Their website is here. I actually heard of them through family. Heather (sister) said she and her husband looked at using Greenwood when they got married 10 years ago but went with someone else, which turned out to be a nightmare in itself. My mom works on the Navy Marine Corps Ball every year and told me that Greenwood had been taking the pictures for the ball for the last several years. I had already met with one potential photographer but wasn’t impressed, so I asked my parents to meet with Greenwood during the day and get some information so I could look over it. Mom and dad set up an appointment and met with Martin, one of the photographers for the company who would be my photographer if I opted to go with Greenwood. Mom was very good at gathering information about the different packages and then gave me the information. Brad and I looked at several different packages and discussed the various options offered and compared them to the other photographer’s packages. One night after work, mom, dad and I went back to Greenwood for a second meeting. Martin was not able to make the meeting but the owner of the company was there to answer any questions I might have.

I was very impressed with the photographs and the various albums available. I was also happy that the owner wasn’t pushing me to sign the moment I walked in the door. You could tell that he was confident that what they offered was a good deal and that they would provide me with the pictures of my wedding that I wanted. I also liked that this company had shot a number of weddings at my church and at the reception site. He even made suggestions of potential pictures and locations for pictures in the church and at the reception site that I hadn’t even thought of. What was funny was when we mentioned the church; the owner said he would be there that Sunday to finish taking the first communion pictures. It was a relief to know that this company knows the rules of shooting in my church; they already know the lighting and how wonderful the stained glass windows are. We signed the agreement that night. It was a huge relief to get that out of the way. I still have to set up an appointment for our engagement picture and to discuss with Martin our schedule for the actual wedding day but I still have time for that.

Vicky- Wow- you really know what you want. I had no idea. You are so ahead of the game. I know you two were going through classes at the church. How is that going?

Ashley- Brad was raised Baptist, his family goes to Calvary Road Baptist Church in Alexandria and I have been raised Catholic, since we moved to Virginia 22 years ago, my family has attended St. Francis of Assisi Parish in Triangle. In order to be married at St. Francis we have had to meet certain pre-marriage criteria. Poor Brad didn’t know he would be spending so much time at the church when he proposed.

First we had to meet with the priest who will be marrying us (Father Bob Menard) for just a general meet and greet. Then we had to make another appointment to 1) take a test (they call it a communication tool but it feels like a test) and 2) individually meet with Father Bob. Then we signed up for and attended our Engagement Encounter day at the church. We had the option of taking the day course or the weekend course we opted for the day course. It wasn’t too bad and we met some nice people. We got some good information that day but we had already figured out/work out between us some of the other information they presented. We still have to meet with Father Bob to go over our communication tool results and at 6 months before the wedding we have to finish up the whole process. Brad has to provide a copy of his Baptismal Certificate and I have to provide a copy of my Baptismal, First Communion and Confirmation Certificates. We also have to turn in our “freedom to marry papers” (our parents have to sign the papers saying we are eligible to marry each other) and to go over the actual ceremony. We were given a book of readings to choose from and various options for how we want the ceremony will go. We have all but 1 reading chosen and then we have to meet with the music director to pick the music for the wedding. I guess it helps that I sing with the choir so I am more familiar with the various music, musicians and singers.

Unfortunately, if we did not complete the steps we could not be married in the Church. I feel bad that Brad has to go through all these steps, but I really appreciate that he understands how important it is to me to be married in the Catholic Church and more specifically my church. He doesn’t really attend his church very much and I go pretty much every week so when I asked him if we could be married at St. Francis he didn’t even have a problem with it. He thinks that St. Francis is a beautiful church so he’s willing to go through it for me. How sweet. He does joke around and say “they will probably make me eat a live chicken” to which I say “not on your first visit!” (From the movie Steel Magnolias).

Vicky- I remember seeing someone on 'Engaged and Underage' taking that test. I think that doing something like that is actually really smart. Going to some sort of class or communications session affiliated with a church or not is just good planning for your future. It helps to know where you are compatible and were you aren't. It has helped our marriage to know those points for sure.

What else is going on?

Ashley- Our next big step is to find a DJ. I’m also on the hunt for shoes. I can’t believe how hard it is to find ivory shoes! And for bridesmaid dresses. I looked that the ones mentioned on the Target website by Isaac Mizrahi, some are really cute and very affordable. Soon after that we need to start looking at the cake. Yea cake! and flowers.

Vicky- Ok, well be nice to me on that dress issue. I don't do gray or purple. Unless it's deep plummy one. Kidding. I can't wait to find out more in the coming months. Stay tuned and thanks Ashley!