The Groom's Cake, long a Southern tradition, didn't start out as a cake simply depicting the groom's interest. Did you know that long ago according to folklore it was a fruitcake sliced and boxed up at the end of a wedding and given to the single women to take home. Once home they could put it under their pillow and dream of the man who would be their future spouse.
Today, the Groom's Cake is no longer just a Southern tradition. Brides all over are embracing this idea and using it as a gift, surprise, or a way to illustrate the groom's interest and personality during the wedding or rehearsal dinner. While chocolate cake is still the most popular flavor, red velvet comes in a close second. Sports teams, college mascots, and all manner of interests are created and represented on these cakes. It can also be a great way for the couple to combine something they both love and have it depicted on the cake. Wedding guests will enjoy taking a peek at this representation of the groom in a day that is typically all about the bride.
Whether you serve it at the rehearsal dinner or during the wedding doesn't matter, it's your choice. The only rules that apply are these. If the Groom's cake is served at the rehearsal dinner it should be a flavor that is the groom's favorite. If the cake is served at the wedding it should be one that offsets the wedding cake. Something rich and chocolatey or seasonal and decadent.
Look over some of these fabulous sites for ideas and pictures. Makes me want to go out and just buy a cake all for myself!
Jody's Pantry
Dianes Cakes and More
Austin Cake Lady
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Gift Etiquette-The Receiver Version
This really should go unsaid, but it has come to my attention from some readers, that some of us need a refresher course on gift etiquette. Hearing that a bride sold your gift on Craigslist while you are still swilling the champagne toast might make YOU want to smash cake in her face not her poor sucker of a spouse. So while there is a wealth of information on gift giving etiquette there is scant regard on the receiver's end.
So here are a few guidelines on gift etiquette- The Receiver Version-
1. ALWAYS be gracious. Even if you are not face to face when opening the present and you think it's the ugliest tea cozy you have ever laid eyes on. Write a thank you note promptly (note: a year is not prompt) and smile. Say you found it charming if ever confronted by the gift-giver. Don't be snide.
2. Smile. Again like Rule 1, face to face requires a smile. The person did buy you a present after all. The fact that it's the fifth set of frilly hand towels you received that are NOT on your registry is beyond the point. Smile.
3. Thank you notes. Some like the rule that the bridal couple has within a year of the wedding to write their thank you notes. I personally find this rule rubbish. Lazy even. Why put it off? Write it when your memory is fresh. Keep a list of the gifts you have received and write a thank you for it within a week. People will not only be touched but impressed at how thoughtful and organized you are.
4. Keep Track. Someone should have comprised a list of the gifts you received at your shower with a name next to each gift. If not they really should. Remember that for your next shower or party.
5. Returns. Don't tell the gift giver that you returned their gift, sold it, exchanged it, or even that there was a problem with it. If it broke in delivery that is not their fault so don't be snotty and tell them about it. If they ask you can be honest, but remember rule number one as well.
These rules may seem simple, but I'm continuously amazed at the comments I get from readers about showers and weddings they've attended where this type of behavior occurs. We all need a bit of a refresher course from time to time.
So here are a few guidelines on gift etiquette- The Receiver Version-
1. ALWAYS be gracious. Even if you are not face to face when opening the present and you think it's the ugliest tea cozy you have ever laid eyes on. Write a thank you note promptly (note: a year is not prompt) and smile. Say you found it charming if ever confronted by the gift-giver. Don't be snide.
2. Smile. Again like Rule 1, face to face requires a smile. The person did buy you a present after all. The fact that it's the fifth set of frilly hand towels you received that are NOT on your registry is beyond the point. Smile.
3. Thank you notes. Some like the rule that the bridal couple has within a year of the wedding to write their thank you notes. I personally find this rule rubbish. Lazy even. Why put it off? Write it when your memory is fresh. Keep a list of the gifts you have received and write a thank you for it within a week. People will not only be touched but impressed at how thoughtful and organized you are.
4. Keep Track. Someone should have comprised a list of the gifts you received at your shower with a name next to each gift. If not they really should. Remember that for your next shower or party.
5. Returns. Don't tell the gift giver that you returned their gift, sold it, exchanged it, or even that there was a problem with it. If it broke in delivery that is not their fault so don't be snotty and tell them about it. If they ask you can be honest, but remember rule number one as well.
These rules may seem simple, but I'm continuously amazed at the comments I get from readers about showers and weddings they've attended where this type of behavior occurs. We all need a bit of a refresher course from time to time.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Bridesmaid Cards
When it comes to weddings you can find everything these days. It is unreal the stuff that Steph and I come up with. Every once in a while though you find something that is a true gem. A touch of class and elegance that can be hard to find in a tulle-candysashed-wedding bells world.
The 'Be my Bridesmaid' cards ($3) from the designer at olio style strike just that cord. They are simply beautiful in an old world way and it's really a touching idea that can turn into a keepsake. I wrote my bridesmaids letters asking them to do me the honor as well as highlighting all the reasons they were so special to me. I think it's a wonderful thing to do for a friend, especially one who might be wearing a dress she loathes or can barely afford. That's a true friend!
olio style specializes in custom designed stationary and will work with you to create that perfect touch you are looking for. Check them out today they do a bit of everything including invitations!
The 'Be my Bridesmaid' cards ($3) from the designer at olio style strike just that cord. They are simply beautiful in an old world way and it's really a touching idea that can turn into a keepsake. I wrote my bridesmaids letters asking them to do me the honor as well as highlighting all the reasons they were so special to me. I think it's a wonderful thing to do for a friend, especially one who might be wearing a dress she loathes or can barely afford. That's a true friend!
olio style specializes in custom designed stationary and will work with you to create that perfect touch you are looking for. Check them out today they do a bit of everything including invitations!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Low-Budget Weddings – Dresses and Favors
Two quick tips:
1. As I was walking by the American Cancer Society Discover Shop in my town this morning I saw a stunning cranberry-red evening gown in the window and immediately thought it would be beautiful in a formal autumn wedding, for either a maid of honor or an adventurous bride. The California shops are having a Fall Preview/Summer Clearance sale at the end of August. Who knows? You may find the dress of your dreams and help a good cause.
2. Target has mini-lunchboxes filled with candy for $1 each. The outside pictures are Toosie Rolls, Double-Bubble, Now & Laters, etc., and each box is filled with that candy. These would be adorable favors at a candy-themed or Halloween-time wedding.
1. As I was walking by the American Cancer Society Discover Shop in my town this morning I saw a stunning cranberry-red evening gown in the window and immediately thought it would be beautiful in a formal autumn wedding, for either a maid of honor or an adventurous bride. The California shops are having a Fall Preview/Summer Clearance sale at the end of August. Who knows? You may find the dress of your dreams and help a good cause.
2. Target has mini-lunchboxes filled with candy for $1 each. The outside pictures are Toosie Rolls, Double-Bubble, Now & Laters, etc., and each box is filled with that candy. These would be adorable favors at a candy-themed or Halloween-time wedding.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Honeymoon! Update
Well, we are finally leaving for our honeymoon in 2 days. (See previous post.) We have a weekend of packing ahead of us.
My new backpack. We decided to go with backpacks instead of suitcases. We'll be getting on and off a lot of busses and trains, and I'm not good at running for trains dragging a wheeled suitcase. Also, in some cities we'll only have a couple hours to explore and backpacks are easier to shove in a locker at the bus station than a big suitcase. Both our backpacks come with detachable day packs, so we have convenient smaller packs for our hiking days.
Clothes. Backpacks plus a 50-pound weight limit for luggage make for some creative packing. (Although if my backpack weighs anywhere near 50 pounds I won't be able to carry it.) Which shoes do I wear and which do I pack? Do I really need all these toiletries or can I buy some along the way? I am not a light packer and this is becoming quite a puzzle for me. We had to decide on the style of clothing we'd be wearing ahead of time, even before I bought my backpack, since dressy clothes need more space than casual clothes. (Comfortable walking clothes plus one or two decent outfits for the occasional nice dinner. Nothing that requires a garment bag.) We are one of those couples that matches, albeit unintentionally. It's disgusting, I know, but bound to happen when your casual wardrobes consist of jeans, cargo shorts, and the same spectrum of t-shirt colors.
Books. We have guidebooks for 5 different countries. Plus we need books for regular reading on all those planes and trains. Yes, we can buy some along the way but we'll each need at least one for the first 11-hour plane ride. My book of choice is Altared, a paperback long enough to read for a couple days but not so big it won't fit comfortably in my carry-on.
Passports. We planned an entire European vacation without valid passports in hand during this passport drought. We figured the expedited fee into our travel budget, and once we got around to applying for them (mine was lost, Mike's needed to be renewed) we had them within 4 days. It's still taking several months to get a passport in the regular way, and in October you'll need them for flying from Mexico and Canada. If you're planning an international trip next year, apply for your passport today!
Snacks. I have a food allergy so I'm bringing my own hot cereal and breakfast bars. Lunch and dinner is usually easier than breakfast, and I have little cards printed out in German and Polish that explain the food allergy to waiters. I showed the Polish card to my Polish cousin (we're staying with him in Zakopane!) and he said it's an excellent translation that makes the problem very clear. I was relieved to hear that. He gave me the words for some foods I can definitely eat and some I definitely cannot. But he also said bringing my own cereal is a good idea for breakfast.
Gifts for my cousins in Poland! Dropping everything to make houseguests feel welcome is a big tradition in the town they live. But it's also expected that those houseguests bring gifts in return for the hospitality. (Just in case they read this I don't want to mention what the gifts are!)
That's a lot to cram into a backpack that I'll be lugging around for 3 weeks. Luckily the Polish cousins are the first stop on the trip, so we can unload the gifts to make room for souvenirs.
Vicky's going on vacation too at the end of August, so it will get quiet around here. But I'll be taking notes on anything wedding related I see. Keep planning!
Auf wiedersehen!
My new backpack. We decided to go with backpacks instead of suitcases. We'll be getting on and off a lot of busses and trains, and I'm not good at running for trains dragging a wheeled suitcase. Also, in some cities we'll only have a couple hours to explore and backpacks are easier to shove in a locker at the bus station than a big suitcase. Both our backpacks come with detachable day packs, so we have convenient smaller packs for our hiking days.
Clothes. Backpacks plus a 50-pound weight limit for luggage make for some creative packing. (Although if my backpack weighs anywhere near 50 pounds I won't be able to carry it.) Which shoes do I wear and which do I pack? Do I really need all these toiletries or can I buy some along the way? I am not a light packer and this is becoming quite a puzzle for me. We had to decide on the style of clothing we'd be wearing ahead of time, even before I bought my backpack, since dressy clothes need more space than casual clothes. (Comfortable walking clothes plus one or two decent outfits for the occasional nice dinner. Nothing that requires a garment bag.) We are one of those couples that matches, albeit unintentionally. It's disgusting, I know, but bound to happen when your casual wardrobes consist of jeans, cargo shorts, and the same spectrum of t-shirt colors.
Books. We have guidebooks for 5 different countries. Plus we need books for regular reading on all those planes and trains. Yes, we can buy some along the way but we'll each need at least one for the first 11-hour plane ride. My book of choice is Altared, a paperback long enough to read for a couple days but not so big it won't fit comfortably in my carry-on.
Passports. We planned an entire European vacation without valid passports in hand during this passport drought. We figured the expedited fee into our travel budget, and once we got around to applying for them (mine was lost, Mike's needed to be renewed) we had them within 4 days. It's still taking several months to get a passport in the regular way, and in October you'll need them for flying from Mexico and Canada. If you're planning an international trip next year, apply for your passport today!
Snacks. I have a food allergy so I'm bringing my own hot cereal and breakfast bars. Lunch and dinner is usually easier than breakfast, and I have little cards printed out in German and Polish that explain the food allergy to waiters. I showed the Polish card to my Polish cousin (we're staying with him in Zakopane!) and he said it's an excellent translation that makes the problem very clear. I was relieved to hear that. He gave me the words for some foods I can definitely eat and some I definitely cannot. But he also said bringing my own cereal is a good idea for breakfast.
Gifts for my cousins in Poland! Dropping everything to make houseguests feel welcome is a big tradition in the town they live. But it's also expected that those houseguests bring gifts in return for the hospitality. (Just in case they read this I don't want to mention what the gifts are!)
That's a lot to cram into a backpack that I'll be lugging around for 3 weeks. Luckily the Polish cousins are the first stop on the trip, so we can unload the gifts to make room for souvenirs.
Vicky's going on vacation too at the end of August, so it will get quiet around here. But I'll be taking notes on anything wedding related I see. Keep planning!
Auf wiedersehen!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Winter Wedding Dress
Erin at A Dress A Day recently posted about this dress, Vogue 2979, and I have to agree with her on every point.
A shivering bride wearing a strapless, sleeveless summer dress in outdoor winter photographs is not attractive. You're not showing your most glamourous side. And some of those old churches get drafty too. Do you want to shiver your way through the vows?
And with covered arms not only do you not have to worry about tricep dips for the next 6 months, you don't have to worry about summer tanlines from bathing suits and tank tops! (Althought the short-sleeved version is pretty cute, too. You may not want to give up on the tricep dips entirely.)
Brides Decide
Of course they do! Who else but a bride is right? Ok, they may be right about their own weddings, but politics? This fun site brought to you by the all things wedding all the time people at the knot and the Wedding Channel now bring you in floral red, white and blue ribboned glory, BridesDecide.
I myself am a lover of politics and I think I can safely say so is Stephanie. I think this site is amusing (check out wedding albums from the candidates) and informative. Somewhat. What I think I really like the most? The fact that all the candidates are lined up in a nice, neat row. You can click on their pictures and get a nice overview of their stances on the main issues and a bit of background. The fact that you can see pictures of Mike Huckabee's wedding day, complete with a powder blue tuxedo just makes it more fun. Their engagement stories are cute, it rained on Gravel's outdoor wedding, and Hillary talks about flirting with Bill at the Yale library, makes them all seem yes, a bit more approachable.
I could go on and on about the sheer politics of this site, but I do think it's fun and worth checking out.
*Photo courtesy of bridesdecide and The Huckabee family.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Disney Weddings
I've still got those creepy Precious Moments "wedding essentials" on my mind and it's led me to think about the youngness of people who get married. And that led to other kids' stuff mixing with wedding stuff. Now I'm under the impression that if you insist on having your wedding or honeymoon at Disney World, then you might be too young to be married. Think about it. Disney is for kids. They say it's for families and that's why the have some rides for the grown-ups, but really, it's about branding children from a young age so they'll be able to take your money for a lifetime.
If you love Disney that much, then you'll most likely have kids that you can take to Disneyland or Disney World some day. So don't you want to take one grown-up vacation while you have the opportunity? On one forum I read the post of a bride who was looking into either a cruise or a Disney World honeymoon. Someone suggested as a compromise going to Disneyland instead for a couple days then cruising from Los Angeles to Mexico. She responded that wasn't an option because they live in Anaheim so go to Disneyland all the time and want to do something different for their honeymoon. What? If you really want to do something different, go to Hawaii, go to Europe, go to the Florida Keys... Don't go to Disney World!
I know it's your wedding so of course you have to do your own thing. But if children's cartoon characters are the central theme of your wedding, and your last name isn't Disney... all I'm saying is that Disney is for kids and marriage is for grown-ups.
If you love Disney that much, then you'll most likely have kids that you can take to Disneyland or Disney World some day. So don't you want to take one grown-up vacation while you have the opportunity? On one forum I read the post of a bride who was looking into either a cruise or a Disney World honeymoon. Someone suggested as a compromise going to Disneyland instead for a couple days then cruising from Los Angeles to Mexico. She responded that wasn't an option because they live in Anaheim so go to Disneyland all the time and want to do something different for their honeymoon. What? If you really want to do something different, go to Hawaii, go to Europe, go to the Florida Keys... Don't go to Disney World!
I know it's your wedding so of course you have to do your own thing. But if children's cartoon characters are the central theme of your wedding, and your last name isn't Disney... all I'm saying is that Disney is for kids and marriage is for grown-ups.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Wedding Pictures!
The moment many have been waiting for... I can finally share my wedding pictures! The full album is here on flickr.
Some highlights:
Mike running in late with his shirt
Us
Family portrait
Ceremony
My dress
Kids are cute
My bouquet -- not bad for $10!
Clicking on any of the photos will take you to the full set on flickr. All photography by gumgirl. She and her assistant were a joy to have at the wedding with us. They blended into the background when they needed to but also got up and did their job when they needed to. All the guests loved having them around, they made everyone feel at ease about having their pictures taken. I fully recommend them to any brides in the San Francisco/Bay Area.
Some highlights:
Mike running in late with his shirt
Us
Family portrait
Ceremony
My dress
Kids are cute
My bouquet -- not bad for $10!
Clicking on any of the photos will take you to the full set on flickr. All photography by gumgirl. She and her assistant were a joy to have at the wedding with us. They blended into the background when they needed to but also got up and did their job when they needed to. All the guests loved having them around, they made everyone feel at ease about having their pictures taken. I fully recommend them to any brides in the San Francisco/Bay Area.
Question! Part 2
I agree with Vicky that it's probably okay to wear a dress that's the same as the wedding colors. Neutral colors like chocolate have surely been worn to weddings with the same color scheme before. Just make sure you don't look like a bridesmaid!
If you know the wedding is, say, chocolate and turquoise, then accessorize with any color other than turquoise. Or see if the chocolate colored dress you want is available in a print that uses chocolate and another color.
If you're confident you're looking your best and not self-conscious about the wedding colors, then probably no one will notice or care.
Now, I question chocolate as an August wedding color because I'm picturing lots of melting stickiness, but that's neither here nor there.
If you know the wedding is, say, chocolate and turquoise, then accessorize with any color other than turquoise. Or see if the chocolate colored dress you want is available in a print that uses chocolate and another color.
If you're confident you're looking your best and not self-conscious about the wedding colors, then probably no one will notice or care.
Now, I question chocolate as an August wedding color because I'm picturing lots of melting stickiness, but that's neither here nor there.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Question!
Hi there Stephanie and Vicky,
I have a wedding question for you. I'm attending a wedding at the end
of the month. Each of the three dresses that I love (I've looked, not
purchased yet) are chocolate. The wedding colors include chocolate.
Is it bad form to wear one of the wedding colors?
Thanks!
Candi
It's Vicky here. I'll be answering the question and then Stephanie will add her opinion as well.
Candi,
My first thought is -what time of day is the wedding? Is it indoors or outside? Darker colors, like a chocolate brown, tend to be more formal. What type of fabric are these dresses that you are looking at? These things need to be considered and may help you make a better decision. It is not bad form to wear the colors of the wedding because one cannot possibly gauge what those colors will be. It's only bad form if you show up in white, in sequins to a daytime wedding, or wearing the actual bridesmaid dress when you are in fact, ahem... not a bridesmaid.
Hope this helps!
Steph - You are up!
I have a wedding question for you. I'm attending a wedding at the end
of the month. Each of the three dresses that I love (I've looked, not
purchased yet) are chocolate. The wedding colors include chocolate.
Is it bad form to wear one of the wedding colors?
Thanks!
Candi
It's Vicky here. I'll be answering the question and then Stephanie will add her opinion as well.
Candi,
My first thought is -what time of day is the wedding? Is it indoors or outside? Darker colors, like a chocolate brown, tend to be more formal. What type of fabric are these dresses that you are looking at? These things need to be considered and may help you make a better decision. It is not bad form to wear the colors of the wedding because one cannot possibly gauge what those colors will be. It's only bad form if you show up in white, in sequins to a daytime wedding, or wearing the actual bridesmaid dress when you are in fact, ahem... not a bridesmaid.
Hope this helps!
Steph - You are up!
Update- Wedding Nightmares
Featured Bride Ashley has just left my domain. As she was leaving with some fun products (think Arbonne!) she filled me in on her latest wedding related nightmare.
"It was last night." she said, "I dreamed I was outside of the grocery store having a bake sale. A bake sale to raise money to pay for the wedding!" Apparently in the dream Brad, her fiance, came over to help take down the table loaded with baked goodies as it was beginning to rain. Ashley did not want to leave as the treats were selling fast.
Not exactly a nightmare but a stress dream none the less.
"It was last night." she said, "I dreamed I was outside of the grocery store having a bake sale. A bake sale to raise money to pay for the wedding!" Apparently in the dream Brad, her fiance, came over to help take down the table loaded with baked goodies as it was beginning to rain. Ashley did not want to leave as the treats were selling fast.
Not exactly a nightmare but a stress dream none the less.
Essentials?
I've discovered yet another website dedicated to selling you stuff you don't need for your wedding. While browsing for tacky thank-you notes I came across OurMarriage.com. At first glance it looks like your run-of-the-mill etiquette and advice site with the same information you'll find everywhere. But poke around a bit and you'll eventually get to Ceremony Essentials, and that's where you'll find Precious Moments. Essentials? Not one piece of Precious Moments merchandise is essential to anything, let alone an event as important as your wedding ceremony. And I'm sorry, but I can't see any man on the planet signing, framing, and proudly hanging in his living room the Precious Moments Marriage Certificate.
It's just wrong and it makes me cry to think that people buy this stuff for their weddings. The Precious Moments cake toppers seem to be pretty popular for some reason. Why? Why!
(For the Olympics of crap-tastic wedding stuff, check out one of my favorite blogs, Stupid Wedding Crap.)
It's just wrong and it makes me cry to think that people buy this stuff for their weddings. The Precious Moments cake toppers seem to be pretty popular for some reason. Why? Why!
(For the Olympics of crap-tastic wedding stuff, check out one of my favorite blogs, Stupid Wedding Crap.)
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Thank-you Notes 2
I reread my post on thank-you notes, and now I'm here to admit that my thank-you note writing has not gone according to plan. "As soon as possible" has turned out to be not as soon as I prefer because I decided on the wacky idea to get note cards printed from one of our wedding pictures and we're still waiting for the jpgs to arrive from the photographer (should be here today or tomorrow). Now I'm afraid that by the time the cards are printed we'll already be on our honeymoon. So it could possibly be September 1st by the time thank-you cards go out for a June 25th wedding and I feel awful about it. But I really, really wanted these personal cards. If I write and mail them from Europe, does that make them more special?I'm ready to hit the ground running as soon as the note cards are in my hands, with my lists of which guests came and who brought or sent which gifts. Only the image will be printed. Each message will be hand-written by me. Pre-printed messages are still an enormous offense, and one that's especially egregious after so much time has passed.
Who knew wedding stuff would flow over into other parts of my life for so long after the actual wedding?
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Gift Registries
We specified no gifts for our wedding, and if you do too, be prepared for gifts anyway. People want to give you presents for this happy occasion. At our moms' insistance we set up a couple gift registries. Target, Williams Sonoma, and Restoration Hardware. We received a couple items from each place, some gift cards, some cash, and a few items not on our registry (see my cheese lady--it never would have occurred to us to register for it, and we love it!). It was nice that people still wanted to get us something special even though we had said "your present is your presence."In my mind, registries are a no brainer. Even if you don't want gifts, even if you'd prefer cash, just do it. People will want to get you something. It's nice and you should accept it graciously. Surely you can find a few items at a store that you'd appreciate receiving. Registries aren't just fine china and linens anymore. You can register at places as diverse as Target, Home Depot, and Amazon.com for cool kitchen stuff, electronics, DVDs, and even house paint I guess, if you're registering at Home Depot. You can also register for honeymoons. The possibilities are pretty much endless.
Now I'm going through the process of figuring out which registry items we didn't receive but I'd still like to have. Target and Williams Sonoma both sent 10% discount coupons for buying remaining registry items. And people gave us gift cards to both places. We're trying to put the gift cards toward registry items and for the Target ones, for things we might need for the honeymoon.
Gift registries. Have fun with them! They are nothing to stress out over. Presents = good!
Wedding Nightmares
The recent arrival of Lifetimes show, Side Order of Life, shows a soon to be married woman riddled with bridal nightmares. She either wakes up screaming from her naked walk down the aisle or she is just in her panties. Her loving groom, played by Jason Priestly, is there to comfort her each time she awakes gasping for air.
Sound familiar? I am sure it does. I too had wedding nightmares of my own, all stress and anxiety induced. One in particular had me losing all my teeth before the wedding and me desperately trying to shove them back in my mouth only to find they had increased in size and no longer fit. I dreamed about the dress being wrong, ripped, too big or too small, the list goes on and on. I talked to our ‘Featured Bride’ Ashley and she too has been suffering from a case of wedding nightmares.
Vicky: So, you’ve been having anxiety-riddled wedding dreams? When did the dreams start?
Ashley: The dreams began about a month or two after I bought my wedding dress, so it was about 3 months into the engagement.
V: How often? Are they regularly occurring?
A: I would say about every 2 months I seem to have a wedding dream so yes, I guess they are regularly occurring.
V: Is there a theme or is it the same dream or always different?
A: Looking back at them the overall theme is that I’ve forgotten to do something, most of the time it is the dress doesn’t fit properly (too big) because I never got it altered. I’ve also had one where I’ve forgotten to order the cake, forgot my wrap, forgot to order the signature platter, and didn’t get my hair done things like that.
V: What do you think it stems from?
A: I think it stems from the fact that when I plan a party I like to have everything done early or at least organized enough that I know where everything is so and what needs to be done. With the wedding I can only do certain things at certain times (i.e. Fittings/Alterations - about 3 months out) so I’m afraid deep down that I’m not going to get something done on time.
V: Do you do anything afterwards like a self-pep talk to calm you down?
A: Oh yes! As soon as I wake up and realize what I’ve been dreaming about and how stressed I was in the dream I tell myself, “stop worrying about that, you have plenty of time to get that done”, or I say “well I can’t even order that until X date” or “fittings aren’t for several more months”. I realize very quickly its nothing I need to be worried about but obviously I am or I wouldn’t be having the same/similar dreams every other month. I always guessed I would have these dreams, just not so early into the planning. I figured the closer we got to the wedding that I would start having them but not this early. That is what really surprised me.
V: Have you told Brad (fiancé) about them?
A: Yes I told Brad about them but he just says not to worry.
V: Hard to do though I’m sure. Let us know if you have any more wedding nightmares and we’ll catch up with you again soon Ashley!
As for the rest of you out there still suffering from wedding nightmares maybe you can take comfort from some of these other brides and know you are not alone. We all have them; it’s like taking a big test, having a job interview or anything else in life. It will pass once the wedding is over and then you can just deal with the fact that people are now going to ask you about when you are having kids…
Sound familiar? I am sure it does. I too had wedding nightmares of my own, all stress and anxiety induced. One in particular had me losing all my teeth before the wedding and me desperately trying to shove them back in my mouth only to find they had increased in size and no longer fit. I dreamed about the dress being wrong, ripped, too big or too small, the list goes on and on. I talked to our ‘Featured Bride’ Ashley and she too has been suffering from a case of wedding nightmares.
Vicky: So, you’ve been having anxiety-riddled wedding dreams? When did the dreams start?
Ashley: The dreams began about a month or two after I bought my wedding dress, so it was about 3 months into the engagement.
V: How often? Are they regularly occurring?
A: I would say about every 2 months I seem to have a wedding dream so yes, I guess they are regularly occurring.
V: Is there a theme or is it the same dream or always different?
A: Looking back at them the overall theme is that I’ve forgotten to do something, most of the time it is the dress doesn’t fit properly (too big) because I never got it altered. I’ve also had one where I’ve forgotten to order the cake, forgot my wrap, forgot to order the signature platter, and didn’t get my hair done things like that.
V: What do you think it stems from?
A: I think it stems from the fact that when I plan a party I like to have everything done early or at least organized enough that I know where everything is so and what needs to be done. With the wedding I can only do certain things at certain times (i.e. Fittings/Alterations - about 3 months out) so I’m afraid deep down that I’m not going to get something done on time.
V: Do you do anything afterwards like a self-pep talk to calm you down?
A: Oh yes! As soon as I wake up and realize what I’ve been dreaming about and how stressed I was in the dream I tell myself, “stop worrying about that, you have plenty of time to get that done”, or I say “well I can’t even order that until X date” or “fittings aren’t for several more months”. I realize very quickly its nothing I need to be worried about but obviously I am or I wouldn’t be having the same/similar dreams every other month. I always guessed I would have these dreams, just not so early into the planning. I figured the closer we got to the wedding that I would start having them but not this early. That is what really surprised me.
V: Have you told Brad (fiancé) about them?
A: Yes I told Brad about them but he just says not to worry.
V: Hard to do though I’m sure. Let us know if you have any more wedding nightmares and we’ll catch up with you again soon Ashley!
As for the rest of you out there still suffering from wedding nightmares maybe you can take comfort from some of these other brides and know you are not alone. We all have them; it’s like taking a big test, having a job interview or anything else in life. It will pass once the wedding is over and then you can just deal with the fact that people are now going to ask you about when you are having kids…
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