Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The Void

I've heard of women talk about a void. It apparently comes after the wedding, when they don't have to plan anymore and they don't know what to do with their new free time. I have to ask, what did you do with your time before you got engaged? And why can't you just go back to doing that?

I love having my time back for sewing and reading and running. For doing crafts that are not wedding-related. For reading pointless, silly blogs instead of looking at caterers' menus online. For having dinners with friends and talking about anything other than wedding planning. I'm so far out of the void that I'm brazenly disregarding the thank-you notes that haven't been sent yet. (Really, I'm working on them still. They are a totally different post though.)

For women who do have the void, or fear it, think about new things to do. Put all that energy from wedding planning into making a good marriage. It takes work. Maybe not seating-charts kind of work, but work just the same. If you have a hankering for the seating-charts kind of work, then plan dinner parties, or other kinds of gathering for your friends. Put that new fondue pot to use. And all the over-bought alcohol. (We're still planning dinners around all the champagne bottles we have left over.) Or take that special china out of the cupboard and use it for romantic dinner for two. I'm not saying become the perfect housewife. I'm saying if you liked wedding planning so much that you feel empty without it, find a way to put aspects of it into regular life.

There's no reason for a void. Your life wasn't empty before the wedding and it shouldn't be afterwards, either.

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