Featured Bride Ashley- Love is Blooming

As the days wind down, our bride Ashley, is getting closer and closer to her April wedding date. She has now registered and finalized a few of the other smaller aspects of the wedding like picking out Brad's tux, stamps have been ordered and so have the fancy napkins. Ooh la la. Now we talk to Ashley about one of the most beautiful parts of a wedding, the flowers.


Vicky- OK Ashley, again thanks for sharing. You have now visited your florist and chosen your flowers. Who is your florist?

Ashley- Thank you. Yes, the florist is Mary’s Flower Shoppe in Triangle, VA

V- Why did you choose them?

A- When we got engaged it was a no brainer for me. Mary’s is the local flower shop in my area, Mary herself is a lovely woman,along with her whole staff and family are lovely people. They always do beautiful work. They did my sister’s flowers for her wedding 11 years ago, they always do the flowers for the [fire]station’s events and I go there when I want an arrangement.

V- Great- so you really know their work. Is there a theme or colors that you are using?

A- Well, since our colors are blue and silver with some pearl, the flowers were a bit harder to choose, silk and real flowers just don’t come naturally in deep blue so we had to focus on the ivory and accent with blue ribbon and silver hints.

V- What types of flowers did you decide to use?

A- We have a variety of flowers. First, we have a mix of silk and real flowers. My bouquet will have gardenias in it mostly; the rest of the floral arrangements will have roses, white lilies, stephanotis, baby’s breath, etc.

V- I hear baby's breath are making a comeback- in small, tight groups mostly. Gardenias are always beautiful too. Sounds gorgeous. Are you over budget or under? A major part of a wedding budget(25-40%) usually goes to flowers.

A- I wasn’t quiet sure how much we were going to spend on flowers. I knew it would be a hefty price tag. We came in probably higher than I expected but I think they will be worth it. We are saving money as we are not doing flower arrangements at the church. First, my church is beautiful without floral arrangements on the altar (think stone, wood and stained glass). Second, we are getting married only 2 weeks after Easter so the church will still be decorated for Easter.

V- That is a nice bonus not having to decorate the church. I often tell brides not to bother. Some churches want to keep the flowers and it is for such a short period of time why bother? Use tulle, ribbons or something else creative if you must decorate. Will you be doing just reception flowers or more?

A- We have flowers for the reception, the centerpieces, and those are probably the most expensive because of the arrangement I fell in love with and the fact that we need 18 or 19 tables of arrangements.

V- Wow. That is a good number. Are they big? Little? What are the table arrangements like?

A- Actually they are big. They are a two level arrangements with a sliver pillar type thing in the middle. I was originally leaning towards low lying arrangements but the reception facility coordinator said that with the tall ceilings of the reception room, tall arrangements make a bigger statement. They certainly have a “wow” factor. When the florist brought out the centerpiece container I’m using my eyes got really big and it was a done deal. They are so cool. I’m so excited.

V- What inspired you? Did you see something in a magazine or online?

A- I was having such a hard time completely visualizing the flowers for the wedding. I loved so many aspects of all these different arrangements I saw in magazines and online that it was really hard to say what I was seeing in my head. We spent two hours with the florist picking out everything. If money was no object I’m sure we would have gotten much more extravagant but I wanted to not lose my head (or the shirt off our backs) when it came to flowers. All in all, I’m very happy with what we decided on.

V- That's great! As always I can't wait to see it. I'm sure it will all be beautiful. Thanks for talking with us.


UPDATE: Ashley has completed week one of the FT 10-week challenge. She is on track and meeting her goals too. She has already noticed a difference in her arms which are looking more toned. People have also commented on how her face looks thinner. That is all great motivation to keep going and get even more results! Keep up the good work Ashley!

Vicky has also maintained her goals making it to the gym twice for her 1.5 hour weight class and doing two days of cardio. She has also eliminated a lot of bad foods and upped the amount of vegetables and fruit she is consuming.

The Ten Week Challenge

There are eleven weeks left until our featured bride Ashley's wedding. That being said Ashley has decided to do a ten week challenge of sorts with yours truly.

Like many brides she wants to tone her arms and lose a bit of weight before that final fitting. She and I have concocted a plan for both of us to stay motivated, tone up and lose some weight over a ten week period. We'll keep you updated as we update our dorky little excel spreadsheets, penalize each other for skipping the gym and try to achieve our goals. Loser will buy dinner for the both of them.

Our goals-

Ashley: Cut back on Diet soda from 3-4 cans a day to 1-2. (So far she seems to be doing this really well)
Hit the gym 2-3 times a week for cardio.
Use the weight machines for a good all around arm workout.
Cut out all fried and fast foods. Lent is starting soon and that is what she has decided to give up.

Vicky: Gym time will include a 1.5 hour weights class working the whole body twice a week. Plus 2-3 cardio visits.
Cut out fast food.
Eat more fruits and vegetables throughout the day. (I tend to eat less during the winter and I need them.)

So there you have it. What we are doing is motivating each other mainly and trying to help ourselves out in the process. I think this is something that would be great for many brides to do. Remember that what you put into it is really what you get out of it. You have to make it part of your routine and not just a thought. Then you will have success. So gather up your bridesmaids or a friend or family member. Form a pact and "get in shape girl!" Hey! I'm a child of the 80's what do you want from me?

Best of luck to both of us and stay tuned!

In other news, we here at Flaming Tulle have found our next featured bride. She's from Maryland and we can't wait to share her story with all of you.

Gaga for Kidswear

When I was four and six I was a flower girl. Both times the dresses were beautiful. I felt like a little princess first in the yellow ballgown with cascading ruffles (ah the 70's) and the second time in a blue and white confection with matching hat.

It was the second dress I remember my mother exhaling loudly over. She was holding the price tag as I stood in front of the bridal stores 3-way mirror. "Plus the hat." she muttered. Yes, these adorable little outfits that we ask our friend or family members to pay for are indeed expensive. Is there another way to outfit the ring bearer or flower girl that will cause the "aww's" in your wedding? Yes. There is. Gaga's.

Gaga's is a terrific little website that allows you to rent formal wear of various styles for both girls and boys. I checked out this little number and was amazed that for three weeks I could have this dress for only $13.99. It comes in various sizes up to 24 mos too. There are numerous styles and collections to view and choose from. It's free to join and a great way to economize or ease the burden of your wedding party. They need to do this for adults! You can even get a gift certificate for the site. That's not all. You can rent shoe, suits for older children, purses and hair accessories. If your order is over $40 you get the shipping for free.

I say why not check it out. You have nothing to lose and a very minimal expense. It is one of the best wedding ideas I have seen in a long time.

Featured Bride Ashley- The Honeymoon

Ashley and Brad are one of those lucky couples who actually get to take a honeymoon. Sometimes after the cost of the wedding or even without it you just cannot find the funds. It is totally fine to take a break later (my husband and I finally managed a trip two years later!)too. Ashley however has long dreamed of visiting their post-wedding destination- Atlantis! Here's what she had to say.


Vicky- How did you decide on the place?

Ashley- I actually found out about Atlantis from a television show (and it is featured in the recent motion picture Casino Royale). I did some online browsing and fell in love with the place. I’ve talked to a few people who have been there and they loved Atlantis. Brad and I wanted to go to a tropical/beach place for our honeymoon and this was perfect! It has it all, beach, pools, casino, shopping, food, history, etc.

V- Sounds wonderful! Are you going right after the wedding and for how long?

A- We leave on the Monday right after the wedding and come back on the following Saturday.

V- That is a nice little trip and enough time to refresh yourself after all the wedding hullabaloo. Did you have to compromise on anything regarding the location or any other part of the trip?

A- We didn’t really have to compromise on anything. It looked like we would have to compromise on the meal plans at first, but Atlantis did away with them so now it is not an issue. We can eat anywhere we choose.

V- That's good. I looked at those for my family and they were a tad on the expensive side and limiting. Any special things you will do while there?

A- Well I’m looking into swimming with the dolphins. Brad doesn’t really care if he does it but I’m just extremely excited about swimming with the dolphins. He bought me a camcorder for Christmas to take on our honeymoon so he says he will videotape me while I’m playing with the dolphins. It’s expensive but what a once in a lifetime opportunity. Other than that we plan to do the normal vacation stuff, sleep, eat, drink, sunbathe, relax, drink, eat, gamble, shop, did I mention eat and drink? I’m excited!

V- That sounds incredibly fun! Can't wait to see pictures! With three months left to go Ashley will be really busy and this trip will surely be a way to ease her and Brad's wedding tensions. We'll check back with her soon to see how the rest of the wedding planning is faring. I hear the invitations are less than traditional...




For more information on planning your honeymoon visit these great sites.

The Wedding Channel guide
Get a chance to review a resort
Helpful Tips

Who could resist "Bite me" remarks?

I have to admire a woman with the confidence to insist upon a life-size cake and frosting likeness of herself for her wedding. While it looks a little creepy, what a concept. This seems like one of those ridiculous, over-the-top wedding stunts that I'd normally poo-poo, but I really do think this is awesome.

Now, the veil and hairstyle, the fingerless gloves, and the white suit on the husband... those are a different story.

A full article and more pictures at Daily Mail.

Oh Whatever - I'm Just Going to Give You This

I'm having immense trouble with some email so my scheduled piece on our featured bride Ashley is going to have to wait a bit. In a fit of rage at hotmail and msn I found this little gem on their site. I use the term gem loosely because quite frankly "what's hot in '08" is basically more of the same. GO BIG. Go broke is what I say. "GO BIG!", says the industry and I want to barf.

I'm sick of the big weddings without personality but claim to scream personalization. I'm sick of the slickness and use of the word 'luxe'. Isn't there something better one can spend their money on than a 15K dress with the must have accent of gray? Do you have to have gold-plated tartlettes? I realize that it is the couples day and it is their money to with what they wish, but in a sense it just seems very gauche.

My trend for '08? Don't go for broke. Go for quiet style and sophistication. Go green. Go tasteful and not bombastic. Donate money or take a green honeymoon instead of throwing pearls and using jet fuel going to multiple locations. That's just me though and I'm sick of the gluttony today.

Anyway, here are the trends for 2008 from the wedding industry big wigs. (Then my snarky remarks)

1. It's all about more, more, more. Multiples really. In dresses it is one formal gown for the ceremony and a fun one for reception. (Hey, keep those seamstresses employed with more complex beading I say! Plus it makes your guests wait even longer for the alcohol.)

2. Hairdressers need love too. Do various hair styles throughout your day. (Why not make the day even more endless for your guests. Make them wait for not just the photo ops after the ceremony, but also your next 'do. Awesome.)

3. The Marie Antoinette take on a reception. Luxe floral arrangements. Brocade, feathers and gilded pieces. (This actually can be quite beautiful but since I'm on a roll here let me just say this- we all know what happened to Marie Antoinette don't we?)

4. Vintage. This is a good one. Except don't go buy vintage looking pieces. Buy actual vintage-wear. Old china would look fab at the reception or in your cabinets. A vintage dress or tux from an era you love works too. Antique candelabras and other assorted pieces like napkin rings or placecards would make a unique look. Even vintage rings. This is by far my favorite trend and it's green too. It is far better to buy actual vintage wares than buying the reproductions. It's also fun to search. Have at it!

5. Cover bands. Also acceptable to this cantankerous and strongly opinionated blogger. Hire a fun band referred by a friend or you have actually seen in action. Cover bands are loads of fun, not terribly expensive and you are helping your fellow man by giving the group a gig.


*For the original and more serious take on this list by a Knot expert click here.

Bridal Expos- A Great Way to Ease Into Planning

It is a brand new year and with each new year comes a right of passage for many brides. The Bridal Expo. That extravaganza in a ballroom that is not your wedding but oh the possibilities!

What is a Bridal Expo? To be perfectly honest, this opinionated wedding blogger didn't know either until she herself was engaged. Essentially, a bridal/wedding expo is the chance for a bride or bridal couple to one stop shop. Like a trade show vendors gather in one location to offer views into their services. They are held all over the country and typically begin in the early part of the new year and then again in the fall.

I myself love these events because I think it is a great way to get into the wedding spirit. You can ease yourself into the planning of your wedding by attending one of these shows with friends, family, or your partner and make a fun day of it. Where else can you view cakes, the latest dress fashions, try caterers delights, meet with DJs, gather price lists and possibly win a honeymoon and more in just a few short hours?! No where that I have found. With the right attitude and open mind a bridal expo can show you ideas and thoughts about what you might want for your wedding that you didn't even know existed. You can gather business cards, make contacts, peruse ice sculptures, enter giveaways, win door prizes and begin to fill your wedding planning book while having fun. I can't think of a better way to begin your planning by attending one of these events. It may seem like the craziest parts of a fattened industry have all gathered in one room and they have, but it is fun being courted and getting things for free isn't it?

For more information on Bridal Expos in your area please visit these links.

Wed-Alert
Great Bridal Expo
For US & Canada

A note to all new brides. Flaming Tulle is looking for new brides to feature in the next few months. Ashley, our current bride, will be getting married in early April and while we are very excited for her and Brad, we will miss their updates. If you know of someone who is getting married this year or you are in fact a bride-to-be contact Stephanie or I and tell us why you want to be our featured bride.

Glamour's 20 Wedding Do's and Don'ts

We here at Flaming Tulle are on holiday break, but that doesn't mean our minds aren't on blogging. It just means we're not sitting in front of computers. Vicky has parents, in-laws, and a toddler to deal with. I found out a week ago that I have to move to D.C. by the end of January so I'm in the throes of moving madness.

But weddings are still on our minds, at least part-time. While sitting around this morning half working, half waiting for maintenance guys to pop in, half flipping through tv channels, I came across Glamour's 20 Wedding Do's and Don'ts on the Style channel. While it's partly a montage of celebrities and celebrity designers and quippy sound bites, they're actually giving some good advice. Don't make your bridesmaids spend a lot of money on ugly dresses. Did you know that even Vera Wang has a closet full of ugly bridesmaids dresses? Make sure your veil doesn't look like mosquito netting. If you splurge on your dress, make sure you don't skimp in another important aspect of the wedding. One person noted that a $15K wedding dress and a cash bar are incredibly tacky. That same person noted that men should buy their tuxedoes: If you're grown up enough to get married, you're grown up enough to own a tuxedo. (They can be affordable! For serious! They're often cheaper than wedding dresses.)

And of course, what celebrity wedding discussion would be complete without mention of one of my absolute favorite wedding dresses, the Gwen Stefani gown. It's still tops on everyone's list for all-time great gowns. It's beautiful and actually quite big and pouffy while still complementing the style of the woman who's wearing it.

If you get a hankering for one of those end of the year countdown shows, Glamour's 20 Wedding Do's and Don'ts is an entertaining hour.

Things are Not Always What They Seem

This dress just won an award for design. It's beautifully detailed don't you think? Do you know what it is made from?




Would you be shocked if I said it was toilet paper? It just goes to show that weddings don't have to be uber-serious affairs. If the dress of your dreams just happens to be made out of some Mr. Whipple-endorsed product then so be it. Congratulations to Hanah Kim for winning Cheap Chic Weddings T.P. Dress Design contest!

I for one, am amazed at these creations. You can check our more winners from past years and runners up here.

Holiday Wedding Favors

Favors, not thoroughly condoned here at Flaming Tulle (we feel they can be unnecessary items that just make you crazy and spend extra money), are never the less a booming industry all their own in the wedding world. In fact, there is a whole line of just holiday themed favors out there too. Here are just a few. We know it's late in the game for this holiday season but perhaps next year?

1. Make a CD of holiday music. You can buy Cd's in the holiday colors of your choosing or even order them from sites like this. You can design the music, covers and the actual CD. It's actually a not so horrible idea.

2. Snowflake guest soap anyone? Or how about coasters? Find them here.

3. Visit the Stocking Factory for custom ornaments and thank yous.



4. OK I just don't get this one. Best in Favors has a cheese grater? Call it 'One Grate Love'. That's um... cheesy.

5. Bells, tiny Menorahs, Snowmen and more can be cut out or put on the table in ornament and figurine form. Done.

6. Cookies, candy and truffles in bags or boxes in your holiday's colors can make the occasion and table favorable. No pun intended. OK maybe just a little bit.

7. Cookie cutters tied up with string. Or ribbon. Whatever. It's your choice and favor!

8. Votive candles can even be holidayized into favors for your wedding.

9. Go cheap and give people candy canes! They come in bulk right? Be really cheap and get the tiny ones that come in strings like banks give out. Ha!

10. Just forget favors all together and get this cake topper instead. It says it all.

Wedding How-To Books

When I'm stuck for inspiration on what to write here I turn to the New York Times wedding pages. All those fancy society weddings make me feel so deliciously snarky. Plus they have a pretty good archive of "field note" articles pertaining to wedding planning, like this one:

Books Strew the Path to the Altar
By ABBY ELLIN
Published: March 11, 2007
To be sure she is hitched without a glitch, Sarah Cartwright has spent $150 for books on advice, planning and etiquette for her wedding on June 7.

Being a budget-conscious bride who's also a book-ophile, I was conflicted about that $150 price tag. I'd love to spend that much money on books. I myself purchased a couple books to help get me started with my planning. (I literally had no idea how to start planning a wedding.) But your head will spin and nothing will get planned if you take every bit of advice literally. If you are a book person on a budget you can get away with one or two books, and then everything else you need to know is instinct. Or for free online somewhere. (I've always thought that how-to-save-money books should start with the line, "If you're on a budget, then I hope you got this book from the library or used bookstore instead of paying full retail price for it.")

There's no question that wedding book publishing has become part of the Wedding Industry, so much so that there are anti-bride guide books and books criticizing the other books. And any celebrity can slap her name and picture on a book and make the reader feel like intimate celebrity wedding secrets are being shared.

My books. Someone gave me a wedding crafts book. I purchased an Anti-Bride guide and "Everything Weddings on a Budget," both of which I recently gave away to another bride. I also bought "Emily Post on Etiquette" and "Emily Post on Weddings," just for the olde-timey fun of it. It seems like a fairly paltry collection compared to some brides, but they provided more information than I ended up using.

What wedding books are you using?

Book Review- Gone with the Groom

We don’t review many items here at Flaming Tulle unless you count wedding favor ideas. So when author Janice A. Thompson’s PR people asked if I would like to review her latest book, Gone with the Groom, I thought- Whew! A post topic I don’t have to come up with myself. Ha. Really, I thought what a wonderful idea! I love reading and I love weddings so a book about a wedding mystery might be fun!

First things first, don’t read the acknowledgements. I did and I quickly figured out the story line and outcome of the book. I also noticed that all the chapter titles were song titles and that this book is serious on sap. There’s lots of ‘feel the love’ goodness as well as ‘I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family....’ stuff going on here. Annie the main character and MOB (mother of the bride) is quite possibly the most laid back MOB I’ve ever heard about. She is the quiet in the storm when the groom goes missing and the wedding plans begin to fall apart just like her daughter Brandi falls apart. A bride would be hard pressed to find a better MOB than Annie. I enjoyed the little tidbits of advice she gives to other MOB’s throughout the book a lot. All of it is very good and accurate.

This Christian-based book is high on fluff and good feelings. I struggled with how some parts of the book seemed unrealistic, but overall the book’s pace is quick and the writing is good. I read a lot of mysteries and I’ve read books by bigger authors (Patterson) whose characters become mythic in proportions as the writing goes downhill with each formulaic twist and turn. Gone with the Groom does not do that. The plot is fun and the characters are enjoyable and it will easily pass your time. Gone with the Groom is the second installment in Thompson’s collection of Annie Patterson mysteries. Her books remind me of Diane Mott Davidson’s a bit and I found myself liking Annie purely based on the fact that she reminded me a lot of Davidson’s mystery solving caterer Goldy. I devour those books like candy so Thompson is in good company creating a character akin to Goldy.

Gone with the Groom is a fun, easy read. It’s engaging and might help a bride or two relax and take a breather from all her own planning hullabaloo. I recommend picking up a copy if you like mysteries on the light side of things.

You can purchase this book and other wedding books here.

Thank-you Notes and Zazzle

I have a confession to make. I still have five thank-you notes left to send. I don't know why I'm procrastinating on these, but I'll probably get around to writing them out this afternoon. I just ordered my holiday cards and I vowed all the thank-you notes would be sent before any holiday cards.

I'd been trying to get custom-printed cards made from one of my favorite wedding photos. I tried two different companies, Qoop and Snapfish, and I wasn't happy with either one. Thank goodness I bought just one of each card to test. It was costly, but less costly than getting 50 cards I'd be unhappy with. I resigned myself to buying plain old cards or stationary.

But I wanted something custom-made. I don't know why it was so important to me. It just was. What's a girl to do? I turned to Zazzle.com for stamps. I used a photo of my bouquet and turned it into a beautifal stamp to use on all my thank-you notes. The stamp is a small thing, but it meant a lot to me. So my mom was the only person who noticed. At least someone did. Buying the stamps was a little gift to myself. I worked hard to pull off a great wedding. I deserved my own stamp.

And in the end I found some beautiful stationary in a book store in San Francisco's Japantown. Everyone still got a nice personal note. (Well, everyone except those five pending.)

Featured Bride Ashley- Creating New Holiday Traditions

The holiday season is the time to get together with friends and family. Now that you are engaged and in full wedding planning mode you realize that you have to now plan around two families. It's not just your own that you celebrate with now. We asked Ashley, our Featured Bride, to tell us how she and her fiance Brad are dealing with this.

Vicky- Since you and Brad have been together how do you celebrate the holidays?

Ashley- For the last few years Thanksgiving has been a combined family event. With both sets of parents and my sister and brother-in-law close it has been easy to spend the holidays together. This year my mom cooked most of Thanksgiving dinner. Heather and John, Brad and I, Nancy, and Millie and Oz all went over to my mom and dad’s house. Everyone brought something to dinner so mom wasn’t overwhelmed. Millie and Oz had to travel the farthest (15 miles). It was really laid back between the appetizers, dinner, football, conversation and desert. The ladies chatted and naturally the men spent the day watching football. Two were even caught napping between dinner and desert but I won’t name any names (Brad and John).

I’m thinking until I get a bigger house, it will probably be like that unless someone else opts to host dinner. Mom and Dad have a big house that is open and works well for entertaining so everyone has room to move and the parking is really easy, not so much at my house.

V- It seems as if you and Brad have mastered Thanksgiving pretty well. It's nice that the families combine so easily. What about Christmas?

A- Christmas has also been pretty much the same for the last few years. On Christmas Eve, my family and Brad go over to the Lucke’s Christmas Party (friends of the family) for a few hours. I typically wave good-bye around 10:15 as I have to head off to the church to be part of the church choir for midnight mass at 11. After church we all head home and sleep (yea right its Christmas eve – who can sleep?!).

On Christmas morning Brad and I head over to my parent’s house for brunch and presents. Later that day we head up to Brad’s parents house for dinner and presents. This works well for Heather and John (Ashely's sister and BIL)as they go down to John’s parent’s house for dinner on Christmas Day. John’s parents always go up to New Jersey to see family on Thanksgiving so it isn’t an issue for them. I guess we are lucky that both sets of parents live close. I think it will work that way until someone else comes up with another idea of how they want to do the holidays.

V- Wow! That's great! Have you started any new traditions together?

A- The only new tradition we have is that on Christmas Day at my parent’s house, we put everyone’s names in a hat and pick a name. On New Years day we get together and give our “New Years Baby Present” to the person we chose out of the hat. You are only allowed to spend the amount of what the upcoming year is (i.e. $20.08 for next year) and the presents have to be fun. It’s like a Secret Santa but for New Years. I actually started that tradition about 5 or 6 years ago.

V- That is a good idea! It's nice to hear that not everyone has family issues with the holidays which can cause added stress on the engaged couple. Any new developments on the wedding front? What's coming up as we enter into 2008?

A- As far as planning for the wedding, we have a lot to accomplish in the next few months. I’m waiting for my mom’s revised guest list. I told her to consider removing some names – we were over 200 people on the list already.and we need to order the invitations in the next 2 weeks.

In December I have to call the florist to set up an appointment. I am waiting on a call back from my priest so we can finish the church requirements. We have to find out the results of our communication tool and to set the order for actual ceremony. Once that is done I have to see my music director about the music for the ceremony but she is in full on Christmas mode so I will meet with her after the holidays are over. I’m not worried she is my music director and my vocal teacher.

My first dress fitting needs to be arranged in January. I’ve started putting together a rough bridal registry which we will do just after the first of the year. Plus there is so much more! I guess I’m not really stressed because I’m focused on Christmas right now.

V- Well, let us know what we can do here for you and me personally. I am a bridesmaid after all! At least you aren't having any new wedding nightmares! We will check back with you after the holidays and talk about that registry!

Say Yes to the Dress- Recap- Part Deux

I know. How can I possibly keep watching this show? My husband cringes, mutters under his breath and leaves the room when Say Yes to the Dress comes on the TV. I DVR it now and watch it when he's not around. Why do I continue to watch a show with absolutely no plot, no fascinating characters, no drama (they try but ehh) and is basically a veritable white-out on screen?

Simply put, I love wedding gowns. All types. Even the ugly ones. I like to see the new styles and I even like the crinkly sound the plastic bags make when they are plucked from the warehouse racks. I could care less if Claudia is fired or what sort of drama might be happening in Audrey's life to make her hair look so disheveled at times. I admit I do love Keasha. I would want her helping me find my dress. The brides themselves are boring. Even that Dad who was convinced another girl had his daughters dress. Relax dude. Heads do not need to roll over a dress! To me they are just the bit players and the real star of the show is obviously the dress. Do I care that it is just one big advertisement for Kleinfeld's? Not really. It is but I'm never going there. I wouldn't because a.) I don't live in NY and b.) I think it's stupid to FLY to buy a dress from a store that doesn't actually MAKE your dress. If they MADE dresses it would be a different story. Their designers? Whatever. Go to Italy. Go to David's Bridal. Do what you can and want.

Speaking of that what is with all these brides choosing that corset Like A Virgin dress? Ugh. I want to propel myself into their living rooms in 2025 and ask them if they still think they should have said yes to that dress. Talk about dating themselves. It's going to be like one of those pearl drop headpieces circa 1986 looking back at them with a puff-sleeved dress. No one looked good in that. Not even Laura Spencer on General Hospital. I digress though.

I keep watching Say Yes to the Dress. I won't miss it when it's gone but it's a nice filler while folding laundry late at night. Wedding gowns are a thing of beauty and dreams. They are wishful thinking and transformations. It cheers me to see families cry over a thing of beauty that is their child in a massive piece of "crinkled paper" confection. I love seeing the grandmothers from the old country see their American grand-daughter all decked out. In this way I'm a total sucker for sap.

Creating the Guest List

Yeah! You are engaged! Congratulations! Now let’s get started on planning that wedding! One of the first things you and your affianced need to consider is the guest list. Why? Simply put you need to know how many people might be at this shindig to determine your budget and other items such as space size for the ceremony, the reception and a head count for the caterers. So how do you pair down that guest list when you and your joint families want to invite everyone from the dog walker to your elementary school teacher?

First, keep a level head. Everyone on both sides of each of your families is excited about this big event. They want to invite everyone just like you do to share in this special day. That is all well and good if you have an unlimited budget. Traditionally whoever foots the bill for the wedding has the most say but these days with the couple and the families pitching in it makes this line a bit more blurred. If you are like most people you need to be a bit more realistic and the guest list is a great place to start. Do you want a small or a large wedding? Have you picked a venue? How many people can it hold? Stick to your guns about this if at all possible. I mean it. If you can’t afford a large wedding don’t run yourself into debt just so your fiancé’s third cousin’s old school chum can join in the fun. Ditto for those friends you haven’t seen or kept in touch with in the last few years.

Go ahead and use The Knot’s Guest List Manager and fill out the easy to use template. It helped me a great deal. It’s a great way to actually see who you want to invite, who your families want to attend and divide the guest list up in concise lists. It even allows you to update RSVP’s. It also helps you out in putting people in categories like the A list, B list and C list. Harsh perhaps but it works. My mother wanted to invite great aunts and uncles who I hadn’t seen since the age of four and they immediately were deemed C list. What is also great about a template like this is that when someone from the A list RSVP’s no you can immediately invite a B list person and no one is the wiser. You will be amazed how your small wedding balloons to a rather large affair so having this type of template really keeps one organized.

You can also look at your guest list in another way. Keep all the family on the list and start pairing down your colleagues and/or friends. Sure it would be nice to invite each college roommate you ever had, but if you haven’t talked to them in the last few years it will be alright if the invite isn’t extended. They will understand. It might be nice to invite that fun guy from accounting but he won’t be offended if he doesn’t get to enjoy the Electric Slide during your reception. You can also eliminate children if you want to go that route. This might take care of some parents as well. Again stick to your guns if you say no to children or it could cause a major conflict on the big day.

The best thing to do is to know that this is one of the hardest parts about planning your wedding. Do it early and be steadfast. Sit down with your fiancé and make your lists. Ask your individual families to create their list. Call this a wish list if you must because these lists will be a compilation of everyone you would just love to have at your event. Then pick a number that you can afford to have at the event and begin pairing it down. It might prove easier than you think. Always go over the lists with your fiancé and keep in touch with your families on the updated lists. If needed ask your families not to extend verbal invitations to anyone. That is an easy way to create drama later.

Finally, remember this as you begin your guest list overhaul. A wedding is a celebration of your love for each other but it is not supposed to make you bankrupt nor is it the time or place to catch up with people you haven’t seen since pre-school or your high school drama club. Save that for actual reunions.

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Trash the Dress!

Recently I participated in Trash the Dress, a growing project that many photographers are taking part in. Now worldwide Trash the Dress is typically done the week after a wedding has taken place. The bride gets back into ‘the’ dress and well, trashes it. Photos are done in water, under water, in the dirt or just plain out in the open without a care as to what happens to the dress. There’s even been a dumpster dive. When a photographer friend of mine asked me to take part in this fun project I was eager to help out.

Not wanting to use my own dress, and quite frankly I don’t think it still fits, I opted instead to lay waste to some of the bridesmaids dresses that appear to be breeding in the back of my closet. Out came the sage colored two-piece, the red empire waited gown and a black gauzy number. I really wanted these dresses to go out with a bang. That red one could have been set on fire and I wouldn’t have minded. We set out on a chilly fall day for the local marina and immediately got down to business.

I climbed trees, laid on fallen logs and felt a bit like Narcissus as I glanced at my reflection in the still waters. I dropped into some foliage and rolled around a bit and even lay on a dock with some scary geese fast approaching. It was fun. OK, it was more than fun. When else can I traipse around in formal wear, full makeup, and up do and my Chuck Taylors? Seeing as I’m not a fashion model, I would venture to say, never. It was cold but it was all in the name of art right? One thing though. That green ensemble was pretty much dirt repellent. It is back in the closet waiting for take two of Trash the Dress and warmer weather. Not a speck of dirt stuck to it. Unbelievable.

What I learned from this whole this, beyond the creativity and fun of it, is that it is a perfect opportunity to de-stress. Really what could be better after all that wedding hullabaloo than getting back into that dress and really getting out some florist aimed aggression? Maybe you just simply want to wear the dress one last time and this is a great chance to do so. That is a good enough reason for me. You can go to the Trash the Dress forum and find a local photographer near you and see how much you can trash that dress.






Photos done by Sarah Lynn Photography.



A great little bit about what Trash the Dress is all about.

This Charming Couple

Until we can get off our butts and post some real content, please enjoy some marriage advice from the 1950s! (Each part is just under 10 minutes each.)

Part One


Part Two


(I orginally found this at Prelinger Archives but I couldn't get their embedding code to work. YouTube to the rescue!)

Photo Montages & Compilations

Photo boards and montages are a great way to entertain your guests be it a rehearsal dinner or during your wedding reception. It is a nice personal touch and a way for many guests to see how the couple has grown and changed through their lives. You can capture family moments to share and show happy couple photos as a closing too. I love whenever I am a wedding guest and I get to see these snapshots put to music or just scrolling silently throughout the reception. It not only gives me something to do besides eye the wedding cake it is also a great conversation starter too, especially if you are placed at a table where you know not one soul. But you know what? I’ve always wondered how on earth the whole thing works. Sure you provide the photos but where does the projector come in? Is it a rental? Do you have to buy one? Does the photographer take care of that too?

In comes Projector 123.com, a great LCD Projector rental company that rents to all fifty states. The process is ridiculously easy. You go online and pick your projector. You reserve the type of projector you need, set the date, and FedEx delivers it to your door. You can do it at anytime too. 24/7. FedEx will come back on the specified date and pick it up as well! All Projector123.com does is rent projectors and nothing else. They are so focused on giving you the best deal, service and quality projector that you just can’t beat them. What could be better than that? I’ll tell you what, read on.

While I’m not a big fan of advertising as a post on Flaming Tulle I couldn’t resist the offer that Projector123.com presented to us. We’re giving away one free projector rental to the lucky reader/bride to use for her own wedding! Exciting? YES! If you know of a bride who might like this for her big day please let us know. The first person to email Flaming Tulle (flamingtulle AT gmail DOT com) will win it! Projector 123.com will do the rest. It’s quick, it’s easy and it’s fun.

Now go! Enter to win! Let your guests be touched and entertained by all those fabulous baby photos of you and your betrothed. Just make sure your mother keeps those awkward years to a minimum.

DIY -- Embellished Shoes

We all know those commericals for the Bedazzler. Tacky, right? Maybe not, if you take it down a notch. Love designer shoes but can't love the price tag? Bridesmaids throwing up at the thought of dyeables? Try adding a little sparkle to a plain pair of pumps or sandals.

While searching for something completely unrelated I found this tutorial for Swarovski Embellished Shoes. Substitute Swarovski crystals for anything you want: pearls, beads, small gemstones... And you could turn a pair of Payless Shoes into something a little more designer. Check these out for inspiration:



(Above images from Neiman Marcus.)

Paying for designer shoes is one thing. Even I'm tempted sometimes by a nice pair of Pucchis or Oscars. But if you're really in the mood for shelling out big bucks for crap, check out Wedding Tennies.com, where for upwards of $100 you can buy the same pair of white flip-flops you could get at Old Navy with stuff glued on (left). I'm against flip-flops as formal wedding wear, but if you absolutely must wear them, take 5 minutes to glue them yourself. I just can't live knowing that a site like Wedding Tennies.com is actually encouraged to exist.