DIY -- Rose Accessories

As you all probably know by now, I'm a sucker for DIY projects. While browsing hats and purses to make for myself for regular every day wear, I can't help but let my eye wander to bridal accessories. Especially since it was about this time last year when I started thinking, "Wow, I have a lot of DIY projects for this wedding... Do I need to start them now to be finished by June?" (The answer is that I did not, but by Memorial Day Weekend I was wishing I had.)

Check out this Vogue pattern. (Click on the image to enlarge it.) It shows you how to make the silk roses and then attach them to hair pieces, ring pillows, dresses and lapels. The first thing I thought of when I saw this was Scotland. In Edinburgh last summer I saw tartan roses attached to wedding garb and I thought it was very cute. You could make roses from the same fabric as your dress or in an accent color. You can get together with bridesmaids, mothers, or other gals involved in the wedding and make matching roses for hairpieces or purses. The possibilities are endless. These are perfect for a romantic, flowery wedding.

DIY -- Dresses

Are you, your mom, a friend, or anyone else making a dress for the big day? Remember, not just the bride wears a dress. You have bridesmaids, mothers, flower girls. If a gifted sewing friend asks if he or she can help in some way, consider saying yes. (But if you're new to sewing, best not to make a dress yourself. And if you have any hesitation about the skills of the person offering, be kind but firm when you say "No, thank you."

You're not stuck with the cheap plastic buttons and polyester fabrics at the Jo-Ann or Hancock's at the strip mall. I've been shopping from some online retailers for years. (I sew, but my mom made my dress.)

M & J Trimming. They have unique buttons and trims and it's where I bought all 30-odd pearl buttons for the back of my dress. They can lean toward tacky, suggesting Swarvoski crystal for just about every project, but they also have a great selection of just about anything else you could want.

Thai Silks. High quality silks at reasonable prices. It's worth buying one of their swatch sets to see all the colors and feel all the textures before deciding on final fabric choices. I found the gorgeous silk/linen blend for my dress for a price cheaper than the polyester satin at many other fabric stores.

Fabric.com. Inexpensive, huge selection of mass-market basics. When my mom offered to make five flower girl dresses for a family wedding, she went here to buy the exact shade of pink the bride wanted--in silk dupioni. (Do three-year-olds need silk dresses? Well, for that price and for such a gorgeous dress, why not?)

Your dress is being handmade with love, so don't skimp on the details. You're still saving money over a purchased or professionally made dress. Just because you're not shelling out the big bucks doesn't mean you don't deserve a gorgeous dress.

(Flaming Tulle is not affiliated with any of these businesses. I'm just a loyal customer.)

(Photo: My dress, photographed by gumgirl)

DIY -- Embellished Shoes

We all know those commericals for the Bedazzler. Tacky, right? Maybe not, if you take it down a notch. Love designer shoes but can't love the price tag? Bridesmaids throwing up at the thought of dyeables? Try adding a little sparkle to a plain pair of pumps or sandals.

While searching for something completely unrelated I found this tutorial for Swarovski Embellished Shoes. Substitute Swarovski crystals for anything you want: pearls, beads, small gemstones... And you could turn a pair of Payless Shoes into something a little more designer. Check these out for inspiration:



(Above images from Neiman Marcus.)

Paying for designer shoes is one thing. Even I'm tempted sometimes by a nice pair of Pucchis or Oscars. But if you're really in the mood for shelling out big bucks for crap, check out Wedding Tennies.com, where for upwards of $100 you can buy the same pair of white flip-flops you could get at Old Navy with stuff glued on (left). I'm against flip-flops as formal wedding wear, but if you absolutely must wear them, take 5 minutes to glue them yourself. I just can't live knowing that a site like Wedding Tennies.com is actually encouraged to exist.

Fruit Basket Centerpiece

I'm finally starting to clean out and toss out (I mean recycle) all the wedding ideas I'd been stashing. I have a couple years' worth of Martha Stewart Good Things pages ripped from her magazines. I planned dozens of weddings in my head and fought hard for a few elements to be included in what eventually became our wedding. Sadly, some of my favorites did not make the final cut. But, fortunately for a wedding blogger, I now have a file of those favorites to pass on to you, dear readers.

Wouldn't these fruit basket centerpieces be adorable at a fall harvest wedding? Imagine them filled with bright red and green apples and pears. My thoughts were that guests could snack on the fruit before and after dinner. (I was told by more than one person that that was a silly idea. Whole fruit is too messy to eat while wearing nice clothes. Really? Everyone dove into the fresh strawberries on the brie plate without hesitation, and I would think juicy red strawberries are much messier than apples.)

A basket of fruit can be used in any season. Just check the farmers' markets for what's fresh and local. In late fall or winter you could also fill them with small gourds or pine cones. Baskets can be collected on sale at craft stores or stores like Cost Plus World Market, or at summer flea markets. Cheap, rustic table decor.

(Image from Martha Stewart's Weddings.)

Recap--Getting Dressed

Well, I didn't mean for that dramatic pause to last for so long. But you know how life is. Have a wedding. Then have your debit card stolen, and your tub drain get clogged, and your husband go away on a business trip then come home and start puking.

So, Mike realized he forgot his tux shirt! I was in the bathroom. He made a snap decision to just drive back all the way home himself rather than have a guest bring another shirt, send someone back to our house, stop at a mall and buy a new shirt, etc. The drive generally takes an hour one-way at that time of day. It was a Monday, remember, and at 5 pm there is killer rush hour traffic.

As soon as Mike announced the missing shirt I felt strangely calm. That was it. That's what we forgot. We might start late, but if that's the worst that happens, that's not so bad. I was thinking, well, there will just be a little less time for dancing. We had already arranged for appetizers and the bar to be available before the ceremony, so guests would have plenty of food and drink to keep them busy.

I decided not to get dressed right away, since I suddenly had some more time. I went out to greet some guests who had arrived early, friends of Mike's from work who enjoyed hearing about him zooming home to get the shirt. (They take aggressive driving training for their jobs and were certain Mike was using his skills to speed and weave throughout traffic.)

Finally it was time for me to get dressed. Since hair and makeup was all done, all I had to do really was step into the dress. My mom helped me. Then the photographer came in while I freshened up my hair a bit and added my tiara. She had a lot of time to photograph me without Mike and she loved the stone wall finish in the salon, so spent a lot of time there. I felt so princessy. And it was fun. I enjoyed being the center of attention more than I thought I would.

Since we had planned on being dressed and greeting our guests together (i.e., I wasn't going to stayed sequestered away in secret until the ceremony), I went out to face everyone while waiting for Mike. It was so amazing! Everyone's reaction to the dress and me in it. Again, I felt princessy and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.

At 5:55 pm, about 5 minutes before the official start of the wedding (the time the bar opens), I noticed the shuttle bus arriving with the majority of guests. Then I felt a whoosh and saw a blur. It was Mike with his shirt! He had pulled in right behind the bus and was running to the bathroom to get changed. (The photographer got a great shot of this blur of Mike running through the door.) Mike made the trip in 55 minutes, round trip! He was all dressed and ready just as the shuttle bus folks were approaching the front door of the venue, so very few people even knew there had been a problem. It was amazing. We could greet everyone and be smiling and happy and laughing with everyone.

Recap--Getting Ready

I think I'm finally ready to talk about it a little. We still don't have a lot of pictures to share. This is a photo of one of the centerpieces that I sent to the caterer a couple months ago to give her an idea of the "feel" of the event. (Clicking on the pic will take you to a larger image on our flickr page.)

Everyone says the day was a whirlwind, don't they? I didn't really feel that way until the event was actually starting. We both woke up early to put the finishing touches on our vows. Then we showered, had cereal, regular low-key morning things. At noon I picked up my mom at the hotel, then we made the very last trip to Target before picking up the cake. Back home with the cake, we found we had absolutely no room in the refrigerator for it, so we cranked the AC to about 50 degrees and left the cake on the kitchen counter. Still nothing to worry about yet.

My mom steamed our clothes, then went back to the hotel to get herself ready. My MOH arrived to help me with hair and makeup, and my aunt, uncle, and cousin arrived to let us load some stuff into their car. My uncle filmed the wedding for us and he got the whole hair and makeup part. I made sure to wear a button-front shirt during hair and makeup so it was easy to change into the dress later without ruining everything by lifting a shirt over my head.

Finally, all that was left to do was finish loading up the car and drive over to the Brazilian Room. That's when I started feeling nauseaus. Despite checking everything in our car, everything in my aunt and uncle's car, and everything in the two cars of friends, who were all arriving early with us, I had a nagging feeling something was forgotten. And that's a common feeling for me, because we usually do forget something whenever we leave the house for something important.

We arrived at the Brazilian Room right on schedule. Some friends were already there. They had brought the stereo equipment and the bar drinks and were getting all that stuff set up. We unloaded our car and I put out the centerpieces and Mike put out the napkins and favors. (I had a specific way I wanted them, even though it appeared random, so the caterer let me do that instead of her workers. They had plenty to do, though.)

Then it was time to give up my control and let the professional party people and the friends and family members who arrived early to help us to do their work. And time for me to put my dress on! A bunch of people (my mom, my young cousin, my uncle filming, the photographer) followed me into the dressing room, but I really had to use the bathroom that was connected to it, so I asked the entourage to back off and please give me a minute alone. As I was in the bathroom I heard Mike's voice in the hall: "I forgot my shirt!"

Is it time to worry yet?

tomorrow!

In a few minutes we'll be heading out to farmers' market to buy flowers for tomorrow and snacks for this afternoon's open house at our place.

Yesterday had Mike and me escaping the family to spend a few minute alone... shopping at Macy's for a wrap for me, then meeting up with our officiant friend for coffee and pants-renting. He unpacked his tux and the pants are missing. So we found a place that rents tuxes, but they need a week in advance. Luckily someone had just returned a tux in his size, and the woman in charge of rentals let him just take the pants, with nothing more than a promise to return them on Tuesday. We then went to Mike's cousin's house to pick up the wedding wine and on to the airport to pick up my grandmother.

Last night was girls' night out. We were all a little tired, so a low-key evening of drinking wine and eating chocolatey desserts was just perfect.

Time to go buy my flowers!

3 Days

What day is today? Friday? It's hard to keep track of time when you're not at work. (I hesitate to say "when you're on vacation" because I haven't spent enough time relaxing for this to be a real vacation.)

Yesterday my mom came over and we did a dress fitting. She just has to do some minor adjustments. She worked on it yesterday afternoon and will work on it again this afternoon.

I finished the music playlists yesterday.

Today I have some errands to run. There's another trip to Target in my future and I have to bring more guest bags to the hotel.

Tonight we're going out to eat with our parents, brothers, and friend who's the officiant. We're not calling it the rehearsal dinner, since we're not having a rehearsal and one member of the bridal party is missing--my maid of honor. (She gets into town tomorrow.) But if the people at the restaurant want to give us complimentary champagne or something because it looks like a rehearsal dinner, we'll graciously accept it.

Trying to drink water, eat vegetables, and take naps in my down time. And "Just say no" to the majority of alcoholic drinks that are tempting me. I don't have time this weekend to be hungover. I want to be a happy, healthy bride on Monday.

4 Days

Yesterday was a busy one. Tuesday night I worked on napkins and just couldn't finish them, but did so as soon as I woke up yesterday morning. Napkins are all done.

I dropped off some guest bags at the hotel. It has a small office and the manager asked that I bring them by a day or two at a time. No problem really, since it's close to my house and my parents are there so I have other reasons to stop by.

I went to Whole Foods. We want to have lots of fruits and vegetables on hand for snacking since we'll be eating dinner at restaurants a lot over the next few days. We want to stay healthy.

I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned the apartment.

Then my parents showed up for dinner, and the wedding festivities have officially begun!

Today's big event: Dress fitting with my mom! (She needs to hem it.)

6 Days

I'm looking forward to a week from today, when we won't be worrying about this party anymore.

Yesterday I worked on guest bags. I have to finish them today, since guests start checking into the hotel tomorrow.

Yesterday Mike confirmed with his friends who will arrive early with the beverages for the bar. He also brought home the sound system we're borrowing from another friend so we can make sure we know how to set it up.

Last night we finalized the ceremony, except for writing our vows. We're suffering from a little bit of writer's block. I found this quote, "I cannot woo in festival terms," from Much Ado About Nothing, that sums up my problem. It's easy to feel all the feelings, but hard to write them down and say them in front of everybody.

Today is my last day of work for a week! Besides working, I have to finish the guest bags, do a few more napkins, and wash the bathroom and kitchen floors. Parents start arriving tomorrow, and who knows, after traveling 3,000 miles they may want to pop-in to their kids' apartment for a visit.

7 Days

I woke up around 2 a.m. this morning worrying about the logistics of wedding day. I have to get over it. Some things, like traffic, I can't control. Other things, like the photos taking longer than scheduled and blowing the whole timeline, are the kinds of things the caterer deals with on a regular basis and will handle it. We'll have vows, food, drink, and cake, no matter what.

Yesterday afternoon Mike cleaned the porch and I cleaned in the living room, including tackling the bookcases. As long as no one goes into our uber-messy bedroom, we can allow family to pop in and see that we are competent adults living in a nice apartment.

Today we need to confirm with a few people who will be helping us out on game day. The to-do list is getting shorter.

8 Days

One week from tomorrow! Wait, does that make today 9 days? Have I been miscounting? It really doesn't matter too much, because I'm looking at the calendar every day, watching the date creep closer and closer.

Yesterday afternoon, after my post, I worked on some napkins. 47 down, 11 to go. I'm working with 2 yards of fabric at a time, which makes 9 napkins. It takes over an hour to make those 9 napkins and it gets tedious ironing and sewing all those edges. But I'm close to the finish line.

This morning I went to farmers' market and my flower guy assured me the'll have plenty of purple dahlias next week. (At $5 a bunch, my bouquet will cost $10 to $15, depending on how many I decide to use. You can't beat that. And we're buying some for decorating the buffet tables and to give all the little girls their own mini-bouquets. 'Cause little girls like that kind of thing.)

We also went to Home Depot and bought two tall bougainvilla vines to serve as a divider for the ceremony area.

For the rest of the day: Mike will clean the porch so there's a place for the bougainvilla vines to live for the next week. I will organize and dust the book cases in the living room to make them "company ready." They really are a mess.

(Dahlias photo from Lynn Slight at WebDahlias.)

9 Days

Not much happened yesterday in regards to the to-do list. All I did was get my hair trimmed and write names on the out-of-town guest bags. Despite hardly getting any sleep last night (was it the heat? the drunken midnight phone call from our friend who's also the officiant? the cats? PMS? hallucinagenic cheese enchiladas? I don't know. I just know I didn't sleep at all.), I've gotten a lot accomplished today.

I colored my hair as soon as the first cup of coffee kicked in.

With the help of one of my trusty assistants I finished the last 10 favors:



While I was finishing the placecards that same trusty assistant sat on the black ink pad. I managed to save them all, but Grendel will have to live with a stained butt for a while. So, yeah, placecards are finished and Mike made the table numbers today. Everyone will have a place to sit! (They won't all have napkins yet. Still working on those.)

10 Days

I'll admit, not much happened yesterday. Mike was out of town for a few days and when he got home yesterday afternoon I decided I was tired of wedding crafts. We finalized the seating assignments and I showed him the insect pictures I printed out to use as table numbers.

I went to Michaels yesterday and found the ribbon and gift bags I need.

It's going to be a long, busy weekend. (And hot! It topped 100 yesterday and will do the same today. Even with the AC on, the heat somehow drains our energy and motivation.)

11 Days

Today, for the first time, I noticed that it looks like a wedding is invading the house. The spare room has a huge pile of boxes containing guest books, Polaroid cameras and film, paper plates and napkins, bags of ribbon, and cases of beer and wine. In one corner of the living room cases of soda are stacked up. The dining room table is covered with the fabric for making the rest of the napkins and various bags and boxes that we're saving for transporting some of this stuff to the venue. Tucked into the bookcase is a shoebox full of favors. Eight dried flower centerpieces are stowed on every high shelf (as the cats look up at them longingly).

Yesterday I hit Target and The Container Store. I got some makeup, binder clips (for the out of town guest info packets), and a garment bag for my dress. I also skulked around town pilfering 20 of the free Walnut Creek Magazines from various establishments so I can mark our house on the map in the back and include them with the info packets.

My work at home was somewhat sporadic. I cleaned out enough room in the closet for my giant dress-filled garment bag. I ironed and folded some more napkins. I worked on guest info packets.

Also yesterday my Arbonne makeup arrived from Vicky! My arsenal is complete now.

Today I need to go to Michaels to buy more ribbon.

Countdown to the Wedding -- 12 days

It's the Final Countdown! (Only click that link if you want to hear the song... Do you think we could walk down the aisle to that?) Parents start arriving one week from today and the wedding is in 11 days. And we have a lot to do.

My dress arrived on Monday, so that was one major stress-maker I could cross off my list. Now it's lots of little, needling details that are requiring multiple trips to Target and Michaels. (Do we have enough plastic cups? Do we have enough ribbon for the centerpieces? etc.)

Over the next week we have to make 10 more favors and finish folding napkins (actually, I have to sew a handful of those napkins before they can be folded). We did a favor-making marathon over the weekend while watching Four Weddings and a Funeral (Mike finds that film mildly amusing!), but I miscounted so we are still short by 10. Then I decided I didn't like the way some of the napkins were folded so I'm in the process of re-ironing and refolding them.

We also have to clean the house. Because we're having people over for a party. Plus we live close to the hotel where everyone's staying so we expect some pop-ins.

Things to do by Friday:
Finish sewing those napkins and get at least half of them folded.
Make those last 10 favors.
Get my hair trimmed and colored.

Things to do over the weekend:
House-cleaning
Write the vows
Finalize music playlists

To do Monday through Wednesday:
Do final counts of everything and take care of those last trips to Target. We want to try and relax with our friends and family members once they get here. (Right.)

Thursday:
Maybe sneak in a day of sight-seeing with parents?

Friday:
Rehearsal dinner with our parents and brothers

Saturday:
Girls night out!
I don't think Mike has anything planned yet.

Sunday:
Open House at our place

Monday:
The Wedding!

I'm going to strive for daily updates here, even the minutea, in hopes that others will learn they shouldn't wait until the last minute for so much stuff, like we have.

Bridal Stress

I confess that I'm trying my best to take my own advice and relax about wedding planning, but at a little over three months out, bridal stress is starting to get to me. I didn't expect it, since we're already married. But I guess planning any large party can be stressful at some point, especially one where Mike and I will be the center of attention. And we're really planning a whole weekend for out-of-town guests where we will be the center of attention for a good portion of the time.

Allow my self-indulgent "to-do" list here. This is what happens when a real bride ignores The Knot Checklist and other bridal industry traps.

To Do:
*My dress is not finished yet. But Mike bought his tux this weekend.

*Decide on shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry. Don't want to finalize those things until the dress is ready.

*Decide on a cake baker. We're still talking and tasting w/ some bakers.

*Finalize the menu. Plan to do that tonight.

*Sign a contract with a photographer. Plan to do that within the next week.

*Insurance forms for venue. Due May 25, but plan to send in by the end of March.

*Make 9 centerpieces and 100-ish boutonnaire favors. Ordered dried flowers for those yesterday. Need to decide on ribbon colors.

*Write out invitations and print informational insert. Address envelopes. About 60 invitations need to be assembled over the next month.

*We both need new passports for our honeymoon, so need to get started on those soon. Oh, and we need to actually plan the honeymoon.

*Talk to friends and family members who will be our helpers, setting up the venue. Figure out timeline for the day-of and everyone's specific assignments.

*Make song playlists.

*Assemble gift packages for guests at our hotel, including an itinerary of weekend events. Which we still have to finalize.

*Buy napkins and fold all of them with stupid Martha Stewart twine knot napkin rings. (I only say "stupid" now because I'm beginning to think I'm doing too much myself. But that's only because I'm not using Mike to his full crafty potential yet. I'm not giving up.)

*Decide on placecards and make them.

*Decide on wine and beer selections.

Phew. I know it can all get done. Seems like a lot. Also seems like I'm forgetting something.

DIY -- Martha's Chocolate Truffles

About a year ago I tried making the Chocolate-Champagne Truffles in Sparkling Sugar in the Winter 2006 Martha Stewart Weddings magazine. I'd never made truffles before, but I'd melted chocolate and openned bottles of champagne, so I figured putting the two together would easy. Maybe the trouble comes from not boiling the milk properly? Or maybe I didn't have the right proportions of ingredients. But several hours later all I had to show for myself was a bowl full of gloopy champagne-flavored chocolate and an open bottle of champagne. I didn't have a stopper for the bottle so I had little choice but to drink it or waste it.

I drank one glass, then fell asleep. The next morning I woke up and the chocolate still hadn't become thick enough to roll into truffles. Martha, what went wrong? Is it because you are a dictator with an army of assistants making vats and vats of champagne-chocolate goop before the truffles finally emerge? Is it because you are perfectionist, measuring every ingredient down to the last grain of sugar, and I'm more likely to eyeball it? Is it because I don't know how to boil milk? (Seriously, what do you do with the skin? Throw it out or just mix it into the chocolate with the rest of the milk? So far I've gone with mixing it in...)

Today I revisited truffles. A different recipe this time, but the same basic principles: boil milk, melt chocolate, mix in flavoring (grapefruit juice), chill, shape into balls, dust with cocoa powder. Currently my bowl is chilling in the fridge. For 1 to 4 hours. I know it needs to reach a certain thickness in order to form into balls, but is it possible to over chill it? What if I forget and leave it in for 5 hours? I guess I'll find out. I just realized that it's 6 pm now, so I could conceivably be rolling truffles at 10 pm tonight. (Or we'll find out what happens when the chocolate chills overnight.)

The moral of the story, kids, is even if you're a good, or even great, cook, if you want to try a new recipe for a big event like a shower, rehearsal dinner, wedding reception, etc., give yourself plenty of time to practice it. I really don't think homemade truffles will be on my menu.

Edited to add: Sunday morning, and the chocolate still isn't thick enough to handle. Grr.

DIY Save the Date Cards -- Valentine's Day

If you plan on sending your save the date cards in February, or plan on having your wedding near Valentine's Day, I was thinking that those boxed kids' valentines that are sold at stores like Target and CVS would be cute (and inexpensive--and after Wednesday even cheaper) save the date cards. What sweeter way to celebrate your wedding than with the theme of candy pink love? Especially in the form of Snoopy, Hello Kitty, Spongebob Squarepants... dozens of your favorite characters to choose from.

You'd have to write your save the date message on each one because they're too small to go through the printer. You have to buy new envelopes if they're being mailed (all craft stores, and the stationery aisle of some drug stores, sell plain note-card sized envelopes).

They could also be used as placecards at a Valentine's Day event. They are informal, but they are unique and whimsical. They might be just what you need to set the tone for your wedding and your wedding planning.

DIY Wedding

Some of us are crafty. Sewing, knitting, paper-folding, hot gluing--there are lots of crafty hobbies you can incorporate into your wedding to make the event more personal. Doing some things yourself can save money. It also takes time, though, and as the wedding approaches you will find less time to spend with your hot glue gun, so choose your DIY wedding projects carefully. For instance, I love baking, but would never attempt to make my wedding cake. I’ll be making favors and centerpieces that can be assembled in advance and kept in the closet until show time.

The emergence of crafting mega-stores like Jo-Ann’s and Michael’s have made it easy for anyone to do something themselves, from invitation kits that you print at home to candles and silk flowers for centerpieces, to the fabric and patterns needed for sewing your own dress. (I sew, but I’m not attempting to make my own dress, either.) Those store also have some incredible sales, so if you think you'll be needing some supplies from them, sign up for their mailing lists so you buy and stockpile things as they go on sale. Most towns have boutiques for specialty fabrics and paper if you want something that won't be found just anywhere. And of course, almost anything you need can be bought on the internet somewhere. (My newest internet love is Save on Crafts.)

Personally, I love Martha Stewart’s magazines, especially the Good Things sections. (I could plan 100 weddings with Martha’s ideas!) But some of those projects are hard! Or include high-end materials that just can’t be found by the average person. Or require a staff of helper-bees to do most of the work. So I give them a try and do the best I can. I have more inspired-by Martha projects than actual Martha projects.

As we go along with this blog, I’ll chronicle my crafting experiences. The mister has asked that I not reveal too much about our own wedding until after it happens, but I have plenty of other crafting stories to share.