Unique Wedding Gifts -- Works of Art

Everyone registers at Crate and Barrel or Target because it's easy and practical. But is it any fun? Do you really want to pour over one more Crate and Barrel registry looking for those wooden salad bowls? I think it's okay to shop off the registry, especially if you know the couple well and can buy them a meaningful gift without pestering them with questions about what they really want.

Why not a gift from the couples' (or your) favorite museum? For some ideas, visit this slideshow from the New York Times website: Help Make Their Home A Showplace. You may not have the budget for the $125 fruit bowl shown here, but you can get framed art prints, or coffee mugs, or a vase, or stationary sets... There are dozens of practical yet decorative ideas.

We reluctantly put together a registry and while I love every gift we received, I was pleasantly surprised by the off-registry ones. It was so touching that people knew us so well.

Of course, if you're dealing with a bridezilla who will not tolerate a unique, original gift, then you'd better go back to Crate and Barrel.

Photograph by Raeanne Giovanni-Inque.

Gift Etiquette-The Receiver Version

This really should go unsaid, but it has come to my attention from some readers, that some of us need a refresher course on gift etiquette. Hearing that a bride sold your gift on Craigslist while you are still swilling the champagne toast might make YOU want to smash cake in her face not her poor sucker of a spouse. So while there is a wealth of information on gift giving etiquette there is scant regard on the receiver's end.


So here are a few guidelines on gift etiquette- The Receiver Version-

1. ALWAYS be gracious. Even if you are not face to face when opening the present and you think it's the ugliest tea cozy you have ever laid eyes on. Write a thank you note promptly (note: a year is not prompt) and smile. Say you found it charming if ever confronted by the gift-giver. Don't be snide.

2. Smile. Again like Rule 1, face to face requires a smile. The person did buy you a present after all. The fact that it's the fifth set of frilly hand towels you received that are NOT on your registry is beyond the point. Smile.

3. Thank you notes. Some like the rule that the bridal couple has within a year of the wedding to write their thank you notes. I personally find this rule rubbish. Lazy even. Why put it off? Write it when your memory is fresh. Keep a list of the gifts you have received and write a thank you for it within a week. People will not only be touched but impressed at how thoughtful and organized you are.

4. Keep Track. Someone should have comprised a list of the gifts you received at your shower with a name next to each gift. If not they really should. Remember that for your next shower or party.

5. Returns. Don't tell the gift giver that you returned their gift, sold it, exchanged it, or even that there was a problem with it. If it broke in delivery that is not their fault so don't be snotty and tell them about it. If they ask you can be honest, but remember rule number one as well.


These rules may seem simple, but I'm continuously amazed at the comments I get from readers about showers and weddings they've attended where this type of behavior occurs. We all need a bit of a refresher course from time to time.

Gift Registries

We specified no gifts for our wedding, and if you do too, be prepared for gifts anyway. People want to give you presents for this happy occasion. At our moms' insistance we set up a couple gift registries. Target, Williams Sonoma, and Restoration Hardware. We received a couple items from each place, some gift cards, some cash, and a few items not on our registry (see my cheese lady--it never would have occurred to us to register for it, and we love it!). It was nice that people still wanted to get us something special even though we had said "your present is your presence."

In my mind, registries are a no brainer. Even if you don't want gifts, even if you'd prefer cash, just do it. People will want to get you something. It's nice and you should accept it graciously. Surely you can find a few items at a store that you'd appreciate receiving. Registries aren't just fine china and linens anymore. You can register at places as diverse as Target, Home Depot, and Amazon.com for cool kitchen stuff, electronics, DVDs, and even house paint I guess, if you're registering at Home Depot. You can also register for honeymoons. The possibilities are pretty much endless.

Now I'm going through the process of figuring out which registry items we didn't receive but I'd still like to have. Target and Williams Sonoma both sent 10% discount coupons for buying remaining registry items. And people gave us gift cards to both places. We're trying to put the gift cards toward registry items and for the Target ones, for things we might need for the honeymoon.

Gift registries. Have fun with them! They are nothing to stress out over. Presents = good!