DIY -- Dresses

Are you, your mom, a friend, or anyone else making a dress for the big day? Remember, not just the bride wears a dress. You have bridesmaids, mothers, flower girls. If a gifted sewing friend asks if he or she can help in some way, consider saying yes. (But if you're new to sewing, best not to make a dress yourself. And if you have any hesitation about the skills of the person offering, be kind but firm when you say "No, thank you."

You're not stuck with the cheap plastic buttons and polyester fabrics at the Jo-Ann or Hancock's at the strip mall. I've been shopping from some online retailers for years. (I sew, but my mom made my dress.)

M & J Trimming. They have unique buttons and trims and it's where I bought all 30-odd pearl buttons for the back of my dress. They can lean toward tacky, suggesting Swarvoski crystal for just about every project, but they also have a great selection of just about anything else you could want.

Thai Silks. High quality silks at reasonable prices. It's worth buying one of their swatch sets to see all the colors and feel all the textures before deciding on final fabric choices. I found the gorgeous silk/linen blend for my dress for a price cheaper than the polyester satin at many other fabric stores.

Fabric.com. Inexpensive, huge selection of mass-market basics. When my mom offered to make five flower girl dresses for a family wedding, she went here to buy the exact shade of pink the bride wanted--in silk dupioni. (Do three-year-olds need silk dresses? Well, for that price and for such a gorgeous dress, why not?)

Your dress is being handmade with love, so don't skimp on the details. You're still saving money over a purchased or professionally made dress. Just because you're not shelling out the big bucks doesn't mean you don't deserve a gorgeous dress.

(Flaming Tulle is not affiliated with any of these businesses. I'm just a loyal customer.)

(Photo: My dress, photographed by gumgirl)

Things are Not Always What They Seem

This dress just won an award for design. It's beautifully detailed don't you think? Do you know what it is made from?




Would you be shocked if I said it was toilet paper? It just goes to show that weddings don't have to be uber-serious affairs. If the dress of your dreams just happens to be made out of some Mr. Whipple-endorsed product then so be it. Congratulations to Hanah Kim for winning Cheap Chic Weddings T.P. Dress Design contest!

I for one, am amazed at these creations. You can check our more winners from past years and runners up here.

Say Yes to the Dress- Recap- Part Deux

I know. How can I possibly keep watching this show? My husband cringes, mutters under his breath and leaves the room when Say Yes to the Dress comes on the TV. I DVR it now and watch it when he's not around. Why do I continue to watch a show with absolutely no plot, no fascinating characters, no drama (they try but ehh) and is basically a veritable white-out on screen?

Simply put, I love wedding gowns. All types. Even the ugly ones. I like to see the new styles and I even like the crinkly sound the plastic bags make when they are plucked from the warehouse racks. I could care less if Claudia is fired or what sort of drama might be happening in Audrey's life to make her hair look so disheveled at times. I admit I do love Keasha. I would want her helping me find my dress. The brides themselves are boring. Even that Dad who was convinced another girl had his daughters dress. Relax dude. Heads do not need to roll over a dress! To me they are just the bit players and the real star of the show is obviously the dress. Do I care that it is just one big advertisement for Kleinfeld's? Not really. It is but I'm never going there. I wouldn't because a.) I don't live in NY and b.) I think it's stupid to FLY to buy a dress from a store that doesn't actually MAKE your dress. If they MADE dresses it would be a different story. Their designers? Whatever. Go to Italy. Go to David's Bridal. Do what you can and want.

Speaking of that what is with all these brides choosing that corset Like A Virgin dress? Ugh. I want to propel myself into their living rooms in 2025 and ask them if they still think they should have said yes to that dress. Talk about dating themselves. It's going to be like one of those pearl drop headpieces circa 1986 looking back at them with a puff-sleeved dress. No one looked good in that. Not even Laura Spencer on General Hospital. I digress though.

I keep watching Say Yes to the Dress. I won't miss it when it's gone but it's a nice filler while folding laundry late at night. Wedding gowns are a thing of beauty and dreams. They are wishful thinking and transformations. It cheers me to see families cry over a thing of beauty that is their child in a massive piece of "crinkled paper" confection. I love seeing the grandmothers from the old country see their American grand-daughter all decked out. In this way I'm a total sucker for sap.

Trash the Dress!

Recently I participated in Trash the Dress, a growing project that many photographers are taking part in. Now worldwide Trash the Dress is typically done the week after a wedding has taken place. The bride gets back into ‘the’ dress and well, trashes it. Photos are done in water, under water, in the dirt or just plain out in the open without a care as to what happens to the dress. There’s even been a dumpster dive. When a photographer friend of mine asked me to take part in this fun project I was eager to help out.

Not wanting to use my own dress, and quite frankly I don’t think it still fits, I opted instead to lay waste to some of the bridesmaids dresses that appear to be breeding in the back of my closet. Out came the sage colored two-piece, the red empire waited gown and a black gauzy number. I really wanted these dresses to go out with a bang. That red one could have been set on fire and I wouldn’t have minded. We set out on a chilly fall day for the local marina and immediately got down to business.

I climbed trees, laid on fallen logs and felt a bit like Narcissus as I glanced at my reflection in the still waters. I dropped into some foliage and rolled around a bit and even lay on a dock with some scary geese fast approaching. It was fun. OK, it was more than fun. When else can I traipse around in formal wear, full makeup, and up do and my Chuck Taylors? Seeing as I’m not a fashion model, I would venture to say, never. It was cold but it was all in the name of art right? One thing though. That green ensemble was pretty much dirt repellent. It is back in the closet waiting for take two of Trash the Dress and warmer weather. Not a speck of dirt stuck to it. Unbelievable.

What I learned from this whole this, beyond the creativity and fun of it, is that it is a perfect opportunity to de-stress. Really what could be better after all that wedding hullabaloo than getting back into that dress and really getting out some florist aimed aggression? Maybe you just simply want to wear the dress one last time and this is a great chance to do so. That is a good enough reason for me. You can go to the Trash the Dress forum and find a local photographer near you and see how much you can trash that dress.






Photos done by Sarah Lynn Photography.



A great little bit about what Trash the Dress is all about.

Say Yes to the Dress- Recap

It's official. I'm addicted. Two episodes in of Say Yes to the Dress and I am happy to report TLC has made me a junkie. I'm already fiending for another viewing and it is only Wednesday.

The premise: Follow brides and bridal consultants as they work together to find that one perfect dress (or in the case of Camille three perfect dresses but who is counting!) at Kleinfelds in New York. You even get a peek into the alterations department and the running of the brides they do each year.

I think for me it is admittedly just oggling all the beautiful dresses. Always a sucker for something beautiful I can't stop myself from watching. I don't care about the brides, their sometimes over bearing friends, and their tearful families. I find myself more into the consultants. I'm still not sure how this show is going to continue with more episodes and brides only looking at dresses. So far all the brides have committed to their dresses in under five minutes. Ah the beauty of editing. There hasn't been any real drama. You don't get emotionally invested in anything but admiring the dress and finding one to say 'yes' to which I guess is the point.




All I know is that I want Keasha to dress me and mermaid dresses have become very popular this year. Stay tuned!

"Say Yes" follow-up

I actually haven't had a chance to watch Say Yes to the Dress yet, but I just saw a commercial for it and remembered that Vicky posted about it. I was interested in watching it, but I've been reading One Perfect Day and just got to the chapter about wedding dresses and it's a real eye opener. Since I didn't step foot in a single bridal salon for my dress, I had no idea why women were told they had to buy their dresses so many months in advance. Alterations should take a couple weeks, not 6 months or more. So why does it take so long to get a wedding dress?

Bridal salons are in the market of selling the princess idea along with the idea that there's one perfect dress just for you (just like there's one perfect soulmate for you). When you try on the dresses in the salon, you're trying on samples meant for dozens of women to try on. Then they order the dress for you, giving you the sense that this dress is being made for you and you alone. And in a sense that's true in that it's not made until you order it. But, when the order comes through to the Asian wedding dress factory, it's still being made in a generic, cookie-cutter size. It has little to do with your actual measurements. Those measurements come in to play once the dress arrives back at the salon and they have the tailor fret over you to make the dress perfectly yours. This is such a manufactured scam. There's no practical reason why they can't keep different sizes in stock to sell you, like any other clothing store. It's just that "off-the-rack" appears "cheap," and you'll spend more money on that special made-just-for-you feeling. And it keeps the dress making costs down in that they're producing the cookie-cutter sizes instead of unique sizes (so, cheaper for the business but they don't exactly pass the savings on to the consumers).

Business consultants advise dress salespeople to avoid "untraditional" or "unconventional" brides because they will lose patience with the process and won't spend money on the wedding dress dream. Heaven forbid a woman wants to be practical about her wedding dress! That's bad for business. That's partially where David's Bridal comes in, in that you can theoretically buy a dress one morning and wear it that afternoon. As you can imagine, bridal salon owners abhor David's Bridal because they are ruining the "one perfect dress" sales pitch, I mean dream. (Although David's Bridal isn't perfect either. They are a business filling a niche, re-scripting the bridal dream.)

Reading this book has fueled a number of rants that I'm working on for further posts.

Say Yes to the Dress

I don't normally like to plug things but this caught my eye, and it's TLC which I can kind of be a junkie for, starting on Friday at 10 is 'Say Yes to the Dress'. The show will take 13 weeks to follow three different brides as they plan and plot their way to Kleinfeld's Bridal store in NYC to find that perfect dress. Will they have success? Well I guess we have to watch to find out. My DVR is set!

I did a bit more research on the show to find out how can it take 13 weeks of a show to find a dress in one store. I mean really. Two weekends in one store is all I'm giving a bride before I deem them on the road to Bridezillahood. Yet the show is promising a docu-soap look at behind the scenes of the store and how they go from helping a bride choose the dress of her dreams and one that looks good on her to fittings, alterations, and more. I love this stuff! Plus you get background on the brides and their own stories. Fascinating television? Maybe only to us but I'm game.

Who is with me?


*Image from TLC's website and Say Yes to the Dress.

Today Throws a Wedding -- Pick the Gown

I am way behind on my coverage of the Today Show Throws a Wedding with Martha Stewart. This week they're choosing the gown! I love wedding gowns. But I am not thrilled with the selection. See for yourself. Maybe they look better in real life, or at least on a tv screen rather than a thumbnail image. The Today Show has craftily made their website so that it's not easy to snag photos and re-post them. Boo!

I'm going to do my civic duty and vote. Probably for the Melissa Sweet. Let your inner wedding planner come out and make the choices for someone else's dream wedding!

I actually haven't watched any of the coverage on tv yet. I'm sure it's insipid and grating, but I'm going to try and watch for the winning gown next week.

Low-Budget Weddings – Dresses and Favors

Two quick tips:

1. As I was walking by the American Cancer Society Discover Shop in my town this morning I saw a stunning cranberry-red evening gown in the window and immediately thought it would be beautiful in a formal autumn wedding, for either a maid of honor or an adventurous bride. The California shops are having a Fall Preview/Summer Clearance sale at the end of August. Who knows? You may find the dress of your dreams and help a good cause.

2. Target has mini-lunchboxes filled with candy for $1 each. The outside pictures are Toosie Rolls, Double-Bubble, Now & Laters, etc., and each box is filled with that candy. These would be adorable favors at a candy-themed or Halloween-time wedding.

Winter Wedding Dress

Erin at A Dress A Day recently posted about this dress, Vogue 2979, and I have to agree with her on every point.

A shivering bride wearing a strapless, sleeveless summer dress in outdoor winter photographs is not attractive. You're not showing your most glamourous side. And some of those old churches get drafty too. Do you want to shiver your way through the vows?

And with covered arms not only do you not have to worry about tricep dips for the next 6 months, you don't have to worry about summer tanlines from bathing suits and tank tops! (Althought the short-sleeved version is pretty cute, too. You may not want to give up on the tricep dips entirely.)

An Ugly Flashback

Along the same lines as the last post, just in the hideously ugly category, here's a nice showcase of some truly awful bridesmaid dresses.



I would like to think that dresses have come a long way in style and sensibility. Then you find things like this...

Princess Gowns

We here at Flaming Tulle missed the boat in terms of the excitement of Disney princess inspired gowns last spring. (I was a little busy with my own gown. And we both dislike Disney.) So, here you go. Disney Bridal. I think they are nice gowns, but don't see what's so princess inspired about them, other than the fact that all wedding gowns are supposed to make a woman feel like a princess. They are the top of the totem pole for Disney branding. A baby girl can sleep in her Disney princess nightgown from birth, then get married in her Disney princess gown. (And you have kids, more lil' Disney consumers!) At least the prices aren't so bad though. That's a pleasant surprise.

But take a look at some real princess gowns.

Princess Diana


Princess Grace


Too bad only about 5 people in the world can afford those kinds of princess dresses. I'm pretty sure, though, that you can find a nice, affordable wedding dress without the Disney princess branding.

Trash Your Dress

My first reaction was the conventional wisdom horrified one. But by the time I finished reading the brief article Is This Any Way to Treat a Vera Wang I was thinking "Why not?" It seems like a perfectly fine thing to do. Sort of like a deconstruction photo-art project.

We kill ouselves trying to find the perfect dress and the perfect fit and ignore that not-so-perfect absurdly high price tag (in many cases, not everyone obviously). Then we wear the dress for one day. For the rest of the dress's life it sits in a box in a closet. Maybe it gets pulled out a couple times to show children and grandchildren. But just because that's what women have been doing for generations doesn't mean that's what we have to do now. Part of me thinks I'd rather have some beautiful photographs than lug one more box around for the rest of my life.

I don't want to completely ruin my dress (and my mom breathes a sigh of relief, I'm sure). But I wouldn't be adverse to a pose that might get the dress dirty. Like, we're having some pictures taken at a redwood grove in the park where the wedding is. The forest floor is covered with this beautiful soft green leafy groundcover. It would be neat to have pictures of my laying down with the leaves covering me. (Of course we'd probably have to go back another day to get those done. I wouldn't want to dirty the dress before the wedding, and it will be dark outside once it's over.)

Check out the Trash the Dress gallery for more pics. (The top pic is from there.)

Mizrahi Love in the House!

Can I just squee for a bit here and share some exciting news! Isaac Mizrahi is now doing all things Bridal at Target. As if this red and white, designer loving haven couldn't get any better they have further expanded the Mizrahi empire.

Bridal gowns start at just $89.99 and there a some really classic and elegant styles to choose from. I myself purchased a pink chintz bridesmaid dress for a wedding I'm attending in June for only $40! There are styles of tuxes for men, children's clothes, shoes, purses and even veils all in the brand new bridal department. Click here to view Isaac himself unveiling the line and discussing some of the many options that the bridal department will now have.

I for one think this is a long time in coming and a FABULOUS idea! Have fun browsing!!!

Featured Bride Stephanie's Dress

Vicky: Ok Steph, let's talk dress! Are you willing to show a picture of it on the site at this point?

Stephanie: Yes! I've attached a pic of the pattern. Vogue 2118.
I'm getting the view on the right, simpler, w/out the
bustle.

V: Oooh! I love it! So elegant and simple. Why do you love this particular dress style?

S: It's very simple, yet formal. It just spoke to me as
soon as I saw it.

V: How did you find the fabric? What is it like?

S: Some sewing friends recommended Thai Silks for high quality yet
low-priced silk. They have lots of swatch packages you
can order. I ordered their bridal swatches,
most-popular swatches, and brocade swatches to get an
idea of their selection. Holy cow! They sent me
hundreds of swatches! The pattern recommends satin, so
I went through all the satin swatches until I found a
color and texture I liked. I decided on a natural,
undyed silk-linen blend satin. I want the back pleat
lined, for a tiny bit of color, so I went through the
colored swatches and the brocades. Many of the
brocades are embroidered with insects, so they fit the
theme of the wedding. Eventually I narrowed down to
about 5 favorite insect brocades and finally just
chose one. Mike knows my final 5, but not the one I
ultimately chose.

V: I love the secrecy you have going on. It sounds like it's going to be beautiful! So tell me, why make the dress vs. buying one off a rack or from a bridal salon?

S: It never occurred to me to buy a dress. I just always
knew that either my mom or I would make my dress. And
it's a Vera Wang design for Vogue, so I get a designer
dress for a fraction of the cost.

V: When did you find it?

S: Several years ago, possibly even before Mike and I
met. I just bought it and put it away in my pattern
collection. The pattern is out-of-print now and no
longer for sale from Vogue. It's popular, though, and
shows up on ebay all the time.

V: How are fittings going? Your Mom is making the dress in
RI right? How is that working out?

S: My mom made a muslin, which is a practice dress out of
cheap cotton for fitting, about a year ago and I tried
it on while I was home in RI. She made some
adjustments then, but she's sewn many clothes for me
over the years and knows how to make things fit me
well. She's also a professional and can take someone's
measurements and make a nearly-perfect-fitting garment
before the person even tries it on. When she finishes
the dress she'll send it to me in CA. Any further
adjustments will be minor, like hemming once she sees
the shoes I have. She'll be here in plenty of time to
make those adjustments in my sewing room.

V: Wow! That is truly a wonderful wedding gift and memory. I can't wait to see it! Here's the pic!

Featured Bride Ashley's Further Wedding Adventures

Today we have more exciting news from one of our featured brides, Ashley. Last week she went on a little excursion with her sister, Heather, also the MOH, and her Mom. The search for the dress had begun. Here's what happened.

Vicky: So you went to David's Bridal to have a look around. How was the experience overall?

Ashley: The experience was just that, an experience! I would have liked to had more time to try on dresses but I’m a big believer that things happen for a reason.

The David’s customer service was ok. They were nice when we came in and had me fill out paperwork. Then I was told to go ahead and start looking around. I found about 10-12 dresses to try on. The lady who helped us came over and just started talking. She told me I was short on time for shopping for my dress, which to me was wrong, I’ve got over a year before the wedding. That’s plenty of time to find a dress and have alterations done. I was slightly annoyed when she went off to get a strapless bra for me to try on the dresses with (I was perfectly fine trying them on with my regular old bra) and then she wanted me to pick shoes out and everything. I just said whatever and started trying dresses on. She was helping another customer at the same time as I was and was hoping back and forth between us. This doesn’t bother me much because I’ll just start trying things on and zipping and such. Good thing I had helpers. I wouldn’t say the service was bad but it wasn’t the best. I could do a better job if I was the consultant. I would have been completely into the bride and asking her what did she want.

V: I had a similar experience there. I have to say though, trying on the right bra can really make a big difference. It's all overwhelming isn't it?

A: I was a bit overwhelmed and didn’t really know how to feel. I’m always a bit negative when trying on clothes because I don’t’ have a great figure. I pick at my figure flaws in everything I wear. That’s why when it something important I take my mom or sister (which I had both times). They won’t stear me wrong.

V: We ALL feel that way about ourselves! There's always something. Somehow though with a wedding dress we all end up feeling magical. At least that is what I think and have noticed. So did you find a dress? Tell, tell! Describe the whole thing!

A: I did find a dress! It is strapless (me in strapless – who would have thunk it – now gotta work on those arms). It is ivory with some cream accents. I guess it is considered princess style because of the shape. It has details and crystals and accents all over the top section, but not too much, with a basic bottom until you get to the very bottom where there is the same pattern as the top all on the bottom rim, even around to the train, which is a very nice length, not too long or short.

It was so weird. I tried on this one dress that was cool, but I felt like the “girls” were really too much out there, ok way too much out there. Then I tried on this dress with red and white. Too much WHITE and it was nice but nothing too fab. The next dress was one that I’ve been dying to see and try on and when I did try it on I was disappointed. The train and back was great but the rest was just too busy and didn’t feel right plus it scratched my arms. I had another dress to try on but wasn’t feeling it and the woman said to try 4 on this time and then more the next. I told Heather to take that one dress back and to pick that one she picked out for me to try. She came back with 2 and I picked the one I bought. I tried it on – it’s a size bigger than I wear but it fit reasonably well. I will only have to have small alterations done with some fixing of missing beads (in the back of the dress so its not a biggie) and when I walked out in it I felt regal. My mom gasped, very loudly, and almost started crying. Nancy (Ashley's friend and bridesmaid) was there too. She almost started to cry and Heather, my sister, was just beaming.

It was really weird. Mom said “well how do you feel” I said I liked it the best but didn’t know how I was supposed to feel. Mom was looking for it in the catalog and the lady said the dress is discontinued. When she said that my heart sunk. I was like “WHAT!!!! NO, I have to be able to see this dress again” (Well internally) and then I swayed and such in it – sucked in and imagined it with all the alterations. Mom said close your eyes and is this the dress. I said I don’t know but it could be. I’ve never seen my actual dress in my mind but this is the best from all tonight and I can’t stand the idea of never seeing this dress. I would be heart broken if this was the dress and I walked away and never saw it again. The store wouldn’t hold it for me. Mom grabbed an “accessory” which I tried and it was perfect. I could totally see myself in pictures with this dress. I wasn’t self-conscious about the arms or the body. I tried on 2 more dresses and nothing – I kept comparing them to this dress. I tried the dress on again and it fit and I wasn’t about to let the dress go. It was originally $600, but since it was discontinued and we were buying it that night it was $400 with the accessory. That part is a secret. The grand total, plus I had a $50 off coupon, was $460.

V: Wow! That is incredible! I don't even want to talk about what I spent. I think it is wonderful that you found your dress and your secret accessory for such a great price. It just goes to show that you don't have to go all boutiquey/couture to find what you love. Thanks again Ashley for letting us in on your planning. We love hearing it! Stay tuned for more with Ashley in the coming weeks!


*Note: David's Bridal will book an appointment for you to view and try on dresses or you can simply walk in. They also have a wide array of nicely priced shoes and bridal party wear.