Deciding on whether or not to have children at your wedding can be a big one. If you love kids and/or have a lot of friends or family with children then it could be a no-brainer. What if you are not so enamored of little ones running around and you are a more into a controlled atmosphere for your wedding? How do you break it to the families that part of their family is persona non grata at your affair?
I myself ran into this dilemma when I got married. I didn’t want flower girls or ring bearers. Some of my family members had children and so did my future husbands. I lucked out though that many of them were over the age of 12 and knew that the cake wasn’t for flinging. I wish someone had told some of the over 25 crowd that! I worried about the few that were under five and in the end decided to just go with it and let the cake fall where it may. It worked out just fine. I agonized for naught.
However, we’ve all heard those stories of nightmarish kids. Weddings can be late night soirees not compatible with your cousin’s four month old. You know she desperately wants a night out but that baby will be along for the ride. So what’s a girl to do?
First, think about your wedding. It is your day. Not your day to act like a spoiled child yourself, but if the possibility of crying from someone other than your or fiancée bothers you then you should probably nix the idea of kids at your wedding. Look at it this way. You could save money on food by not providing that extra plate that might only be picked at anyway. If you forgo kids be prepared to have the invited guests with kids to be upset. Explain to them calmly how you feel, remembering not to use the phrase “screaming brats”. If possible find a babysitting service nearby that will take care of the tots at the hotel where your guests are staying. You can either pay for this yourself or let the parents know it is available and what the cost is. This always earns a gold star in my book.
Second, if you decide to have the wee ones at your wedding then be prepared for outbursts, unpredictable behavior and scenes as well as some pretty darn cute moments. Dressing up the tots in party clothes and having them hang out all day or late into the night is not always conducive to pleasant children. Plan to have activities for the kids or a room solely for them to play in during the ceremony and/or the reception. Many reception places are willing to accommodate this request and may even have a sitting service on hand to recommend. Ask your caterer if they can provide a kid-friendly meal if that is a concern. Our featured bride Ashley is including that in her reception. Having all these extras costs money, but if you can afford it and it means piece of mind for you and the possibility of more fun for the parents then go for it.
Remember to think all this through as you create your guest list. Your goal is to not just have a beautiful oh -so -you wedding but for you to remain as sane and bridezilla free as possible so go with the decision that will ensure that.
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